angela_n_hunt: (Default)
*blinkblink*

*looks around blearily for coffee mug*

Morning.

No picture today. Open house at school last night, followed by run to Aaron Bros. ate my evening. FYI, do not buy frames at Aaron Bros. anymore, unless they are for small photos. The large frames? Holy gods. Go to Dick Blick online. Aaron Bros. is just too expensive. I ended up only buying mattes, and only because they had some gorgeous ones that will fit the Between Heaven & Hell series, *perfectly*.

I do not cut my own mattes. I suck at it.

Aiya.

Tired.

To both Denison and [profile] lunaticbubbles, you are both made of epic Win and I would not have survived last night without coming home to both of your smiling faces, a happy baby, and a dinner I didn't have to cook. Same to the husband who had the bottle of wine open and ready too.

* * *

Don't forget, First Fridays at Everyday Zen is this Friday evening. All sorts of lovely things going on and art on sale.

* * *

Update on the Ant later. Is good news from the orthopedist.

I'm going to go pour myself in to a vat of coffee now and try and wake up. Pray for me.
angela_n_hunt: (Default)
Today, the Mouse went to school. She didn't get to go to her class, because they're freaks because her TB test is out of date.

But she went.

She's gone to get her stuff so she can go tomorrow, but it doesn't change the basic.

My Mouse, my darling girl, my star-dusted, solar child, is officially a Kindergartener.

Dude. How the hell do I have a Kindergartener?

I am awed and emotional. I've not gone all weepy, which is awesome. But I am very emotional. In many ways, for me, this is the official start of beginning to let her go out into the World and try her wings. Pre-school and Nursery were very insulated and protected. This is still very protected, but it's where it starts.

You should have seen her fly out of bed this morning. She was so excited.

I hope she keeps ahold of that, that desire and excitement to learn. It's my job to protect that for as long as I can, no matter what. If school doesn't do it for her, I will make it happen some other way. As Tammy rightly points out, school isn't a prison if you know your parents got your back and will pull your ass out if it's needed.

But for now, school it is. The Mouse is a social butterfly and it's an easy way to meet many different people with different backgrounds. We'd still meet them no matter what, but this is kinda right down the block. Literally.

Aiya.

Words. *beats them on the table* Can't make them capture it all. But right now, this moment, I put it right *here*.

Look out, World. Here comes my girl. I've no idea what she'll do or become.

How wonderful!

EDIT: Gods bless Dr. Efron's office. Got her hooked up, got her Yellow Card, and when the Ant got her to school to turn in the card, they said she could go straight to her class.

Which she did without a backward glance, just in time for going in to class after lunch.

Please give mad props to the Ant who made it all happen with no help. I couldn't go with and neither could the husband. She did it all, with babe in arms, much hysterical crying because of shots, and LAUSD bureaucracy. She's not feeling it right now, but she managed, even if she doesn't feel like she did.
angela_n_hunt: (Default)
Things have been accomplished. Vitamins, exercise and correct application of sun have restored my mood. Interesting opportunities have wandered into my life, merely by the correct application of just plain asking for help and accepting that it's already on its way (and thanks again for that reminder, [personal profile] argentla). I'm getting quotes for car insurance, because I'm pretty sure we were paying too much.

Best of all, my Venice Moms e-list came through with both a great rec for a new pediatrician *and* a ballet class that's minutes away from the house. One each dancing Mouse, coming up! And the studio also teaches Jazz! Woot! I fully expect to have the shrine to Fosse ensconced in the house in no time. *Fosse Fosse Fosse* *jazz hands*

I also reinstituted the making of the list at the end of the day, so I can see what I actually have accomplished, rather than let the broken brain insist that I've done nothing, when that isn't true.

So.

Baby steps.

Tonight I'm off to see Ink with some friends, a movie that a new friend of mine is in. It's been selling out and has sold out for tonight, which means that they're pretty much assured of a run in September. If this is the case, and you're local, roll out to see it. All my friends have been *raving* about it and I fully expect to have a grand time tonight.

Even if it is way past my bedtime when it goes on.

buried

Aug. 17th, 2009 04:00 pm
angela_n_hunt: (Default)
*digs out*

Hi there.

Sorry about that. Birthdays buried me and so did small children. One more birthday to go.

Wish [profile] friendlyquark (aka the Ant) a most excellent and awesome birthday. Tomorrow is her day. As she continuously tells me, the Mouse was her 9 day early birthday present five years ago.

I got sunburned yesterday at D-land and have to make sure I put on adequate sun protection for our third foray tomorrow. Today, I'm digging through as much as I can and planning on a nap. The sun headache I still have is awful. But I've gotten through all my email, though I haven't touched all the news I haven't seen in a week and a half.

I know. Ignore it, you say. Except that a good 50% of what I write, make art out of, paint or photograph, comes out of my surfing. Jogs the brainmeat and gives me ideas. I need ideas desperately right now, as I'm trying to complete things before moving on to new projects. No new projects till I finish the shit I have now or decide it's not worth continuing.

Video to edit. Photos to edit. Novel to finish transcribing before moving on to the edit of book two, better known as Dark Lightning.

And I'm still battling bad brain chemistry, masquerading as panic/anxiety about shit I have no control over. Which reminds me, I need to take more allergy meds, so I can breathe and make the anxiety go away. Panic requires Vitamin D, fish oil and sleep. Seriously.

What else?

Gods.

Too much.

I only have six days left of my leave and then it's back to it. If you want to see me in a partially rested state, now's your chance.

In other news, I should have edited photos for you to see tonight. Yay!

I'm back to it.

*buries self*
angela_n_hunt: (Default)
So much to do.

So little time.

Photos are banging on my head.  Novel is banging on my head.  Helping a few folks with resumes, since I'm good at that sort of thing, and you gotta have an edge to find work right now.  The house is an unmitigated disaster and I want to burn everything I own, including my art, which is seriously no bueno. 

I can't sleep.

All that being said, the world is full of possibility and opportunity and I feel good.

Now I just have to sleep.  Wish me luck.  Photos are coming, but they're technically more advanced than my past work and the editing is going much slower.

Tomorrow, I order prints from Kodak.

Two Days In

Aug. 4th, 2009 09:51 am
angela_n_hunt: (Default)
To my vacation, and I'm already feeling a wee bit less crazed, but the family stuff is making me *headdesk*.

An almost five year old girl is a handful.  I love her beyond life, but right now I'm feeling like an utter failure of a parent.  She's gone huge into the defiance thing.  Supposedly it's a sign of how secure she is, but it's driving me absolutely nuts.  She's also treating people really poorly which is just no bueno.  The psych advice is to just ignore it, but my gut is telling me that that's just stupid.  Ignoring it doesn't teach you that it's not okay!

Anyway, not feeling it as the Momma today.  Wishing I didn't feel quite made of so much fail.

* * *

Finished the rough cut of the video.  Now to send it to one other place.  More as I can reveal it.

* * *

Today I'm going to do taxes and work on the photos.  If all goes well, I'll have the first batch up later today.

I also found a show that I think will be a great place for the photos to go to.  So I'm going to work on my submission for it.  We'll see how it goes.

* * * 

My fingernails are just ragged. 

* * *

Nothing else right now.  My gut hurts, I got no sleep and I need to put in my contacts.  Pray for me today.
angela_n_hunt: (Default)
The breastpump died.

I have to stop and pick up a new one on the way home tonight. This is one of those things that I cannot go without. It's literally what feeds the Bean and also eases my own discomfort.

I could cry and/or vomit.

Breastpumps are hideously expensive.
angela_n_hunt: (Default)

This, even from where we were, was pretty damn cool as the circus band played the national anthem. I mean, seriously. How often does Old Glory get carried in by elephant back?

And the barding on the elephant! I've got a sideview I'll post on Monday. DUDE. Bob Mackie couldn't have done better.

* * *

Friday and it's hammered.

I've got the dentist at 3 pm. Banking to do. I've written my pages for the day, so that's done. Put together a composite card. Sew. Do taxes. Work on the house in prep for the descent of the Mad Model et al. Fix the bouncing Hunt Press email.

If I fall over dead, tell them I went down gloriously in battle. It'll be our little secret.

*vibrate*

angela_n_hunt: (Default)
First off, if you have not bought Coilhouse 03 already, what is wrong with you??? GO HERE NOW AND GET ONE! http://www.coilhouse.net

It is made of unadulterated awesome. Just wow.

The text. The paper. The graphic design of it. DUDE. It's just glorious. And the content is equally awesome. The interview with Xeni Jardin alone was worth the price of admission.

NOM.

* * *

In six or so more days, not counting today, the Mad Model will be here. I cannot wait.

* * *

The day is not my friend in other ways though. Good things have happened, yes, but I'm looking at a massive to do list that is waiting for me at home. There are not enough hours in the day. And somewhere in all of that, I need to do my other paying work, bathe the children, eat and/or cook dinner, unpack more boxes (or burn them, which sounds hugely appealing), sort the Christmas ornaments and whittle down the ten boxes of decorations down to basically half that without bursting into tears because I'm an unrepentant Holiday Whore, find my copies of Tarzan of the Apes and Alice In Wonderland (if I even have a copy of the latter, which I don't know), upload image files to Vistaprint, work on the Hunt Press website, send out a contract to one of my authors, scan negatives, make a composite card, put away the photos from Japan and y'know, do some yoga.

If I get the children bathed and all of us fed out of that list, I'll consider it a win.

Yeah.

*headdesk*

Someone get me a time travel device *right now.*
angela_n_hunt: (Default)
Another conflicted weekend, but this time the good outweighed the meh.

Significantly outweighed the meh.

Today is also the 40th anniversary of the moon landing. It makes me sad today. 40 years and we're not off the rock. What the hell is wrong with us?

The next four weeks are hammered and then the year does it's annual death spiral towards the holidays and eating all my time. Even with that knowledge, I'm seriously contemplating putting together a more substantial annual Hunt Press Book & Art Party. Timothy at Black Cat Gallery has offered to help me out with promoting the current crop of books and I really loved showing at his place last time. Thoughts?

In the meantime, I have a long list of Momma tasks ahead of me tonight. Yesterday was spent in acquiring new sleepers for the Bean as she has outgrown the first batch. Tonight is a trip to Gymboree for Mouse clothing.

And I need a new pair of walking shoes. And I want purely impractical red ones. Because red shoes are what this year is about.

With that, I get back to it.

no title

Jul. 13th, 2009 08:06 am
angela_n_hunt: (Default)
I have no wit. I have very few words.

Pictures from the circus will be coming. Would have been yesterday, but I was down for the count for most of the day due to hardware issues. If not for my friend, Patrick, the day would have been a total loss, hard drive wise. His guidance helped me rescusitate the external and make sure it doesn't happen again. I've also got another 250 GB drive now on the external, which is most needed as the one that went down for the day is officially full. I'm not entirely certain that that didn't have something to do with the failure as well.

* * *

And then there's the news about Noah's father this morning. Not even two weeks after my co-worker's father also dying. And think what you will about Michael Jackson, he also was a father and leaves behind grieving children.

So, of course, I'm thinking of my own father. Especially this week.

My father's birthday is this Friday.

* * *

We went to the circus on Saturday. The Mouse melted down towards the end. There were no monkeys. She was convinced that she'd missed them, not that they didn't have them. After all, in her world, circuses have monkeys. Either way, it was about an hour too long for someone under the age of 5.

Bean, on the other hand, aside from startling at the fireworks just stared at *everything*. With her mouth open. Her expression was priceless.

I took a lot of photographs. Especially of the elephants. Elephants are just made of awesome.

The tiger tamer was frikken' insane.

The acrobatic acts were frankly true to the term death defying and scared the bejeezus out of me more than once. Tiger cage? No problem. Leap off of anything with no net? Holy crap, no.

We'll go again.

* * *

So, another leavened weekend. Joy and grief. The masks of theater in all their glory, tragic and comic.

Next weekend, in time for my father's birthday, I hopefully see my eldest sister. Who is going in for surgery today on her neck.

Gods.

Stop the world.

I want to get off for a few minutes.
angela_n_hunt: (Default)
Well! I finished the photo brochure. Finally. Last night. Took me long enough, but it's done. All that remains is to get it uploaded to the printers and on its merry way.

Yup.

*looks around*

I should probably mention that I am in uber weird headspace and have been for the last few days.

In other news, the dentist appointment was a total non thing and went a long way to helping me deal with my phobia. [personal profile] stacymckenna, please to be thanking your friend. Awesome referral and I am going to heartily recommend Dr. Chen to everyone I know if they need a dentist. Good, good guy.

Edit on Strange Weather continues and I should be done sooner than later.

The Bean has also begun to officially outgrow her newborn/0-3 mos. clothing. There's something both wonderful and bittersweet about it all. Bean's my last baby. I'll only have these two girls, my Mouse and my Bean. It's only once that they're small. It's only once that they find me smiling and making funny noises at them to be the height of comedy. There might come a day when they find me the farthest thing from funny at all. I hope not. I hope to have a better relationship with my girls than I had with my parents.

I'm struggling with the passing of time.

Oh, and Contact was on the TV, right before I went to bed. Fathers and daughters and the search for truth and life and faith and love and how do you know what you know.

Small moves, Ellie. Small moves.

I better get back to it.
angela_n_hunt: (Default)
Go here:

http://www.dooce.com/2009/06/25/44-time

It made me laugh out loud. This is *exactly* what it's like to add a second child, as far as I'm concerned. I love how she nails it.

Strike up the band!

Face

Jul. 8th, 2009 09:32 am
angela_n_hunt: (Default)

Face, originally uploaded by quennessa.

And a trip back in time. This is a modern art sculpture that was on the lawn in front of the British Museum the last time I was there, which was back in 1996. Don't know if it's still there.

The juxtaposition of it against the columns just made me go hmm?

Looking at it now, I find I like it a lot more than I did when I took it. How about that?

* * *

So. I'm getting ready to go back to the stock agencies. I had a bit of a wrangle with Shutterstock some time back and got super frustrated with how damn picky they were over images that I could find no problems with. I have since found other agencies and I mean to get my work out there. I have a lot that I think would do the trick, never mind the adorable small child photos I have.

My biggest frustration with stock is that everyone has different rules and the time commitment at the front end is fairly steep. But the photos don't do me any good just sitting on my hard drive. a) I want them to be seen and b) it'd be nice if they were earning at the same time.

So.

Stock.

I'm just tired, I guess. To quote Bullwinkle, this time for sure.

* * *

I am beat. Which I said. Last night was good/bad/indifferent and not full of enough time to get all I wanted accomplished, accomplished. The criticals got done, but there's a pile of work waiting for me, a large chunk of it of the paying variety.

I know that being the Momma takes precedence. I know that it eats time. But I don't like it when I start contemplating Children's Chewable Thorazine to get five uninterrupted minutes to have a full and complete thought and where I'm not raising my voice to say one of the three stock phrases I seem to have right now: "Leave the dog/your sister/the cat alone!" "Not so loud!" "Quit jumping!"

I don't like being that person.

I need a break. But then, don't we all?

We're going to the circus on Saturday. The Birthday Fairy made an early fly by visit. We'll see how that goes. And I'll take a ton of photos.

I just need more coffee. Clearly my mood is jacked up.

angela_n_hunt: (Default)
As Sharon Lee <lj user="rolanni"> most wonderfully submitted, today is the first observation of Science Fiction & Fantasy Writers Appreciation Day.

I mean to write notes today in thanks. 

And in remembrance, oh, I do so wish I'd had a chance to thank Edgar Rice Burroughs for just everything.  John Carter and Tarzan were my first pre-pubescent loves.  John Carter most especially.  A Princess of Mars is still one of my all time favorite stories, in all its pulpy glory.  The man could write a rip roaring yarn. 

Give some love to your favorite genre writers today.  It's a solitary job and can feel like you're working in nothing but vaccuum, not even an echo chamber.  It's not theater, where the listening dark tells you everything about what you're performing.

* * *

Today is moderately better than yesterday.

The Mouse is having a rough time of it lately.  Having really normal dark thoughts for a human, but they are scaring her, because she's in that place where thought crime is real.  Having to explain that thinking about doing something bad is not the same as *doing* something bad.  And some things just aren't even bad.  Possibly rude and/or silly, but last I checked, no one ever got sent to jail for sticking their tongue out.  And essentially, she knows and believes herself to be a good girl and these dark thoughts don't jibe with that world view.

Could the lectures on ethics have waited till she was, I dunno, at least 5 years old?

Apparently not.

*sigh*

So.

Husband is sick with vertigo caused possibly by inner ear viral infection.  No, I have no clue how he managed it.  Don't ask me.

Have gotten very little accomplished.  But that's life sometimes.

And with that, back on my head.
angela_n_hunt: (Default)
Or: Looking For The Thread to Bind Up These Bones of a Thursday

Which is a long way of saying that I'm in a philosophical frame of mind today.

I'm...tired.  I slept poorly.  I kept waking up angry, which is a poor way to wake up and a poor way to go to sleep.  I was allowing too many things to light me up, all of them out of my control and power.

But when I woke in the morning for the final time, I brought some insight with me out of the last foray into sleep.  And a bit of commitment. 

I don't want to give energy any more to these things that light me up.  It's a very poor way to spend my time and energy, both of which are within very specific constraints.  I won't say limited, because the truth is, my time and energy are not limited.  I'm the one wasting my time and energy on getting bent about shit I have no control over.  Better to spend my time and energy on what I can effect, what I can control, what I can change.  And that's only me.

I feel like I *just* ducked getting hit in the head by the Cosmic 2x4 for making this realization.  I feel like if I hadn't had this insight, She would have made sure to bean me hard enough to leave me hearing bells for a week.  She is Infinite Patience.  But She also doesn't suffer fools gladly.  We have that in common.

Sutra, in Hindi, literally means thread.  It's the thing that binds, sews up life and spirituality.  They are typically brief aphorisms or specific sacred texts, such as the Sutras of Patanjali. 

I make this sutra today.  I bind up my disparate fractiousness and sew myself back to focus and commitment.

Life's too short to do otherwise.

* * *

In other news, I'm learning how the Kindle works, so Hunt Press can release its books on that platform.  Yay!

I've triaged a year's worth of email on my new to me laptop.

I watched my wonderful/stupid dance show last night.  OMG, Vitolio and Asuka did it for me last night.  They better not be in the bottom 3 tonight, damn it!

Things are coming together, due to correct application of Planner Bonding.

Tonight, more stupid dance show and baths for the girls.  Pray for me.
angela_n_hunt: (Default)

Wish For Wings, originally uploaded by quennessa.

Okay, not a photo, but the painting I am the proudest of, after Pegasus Rising.

The reference for the piece is Katie West's youreallowed. You can see it here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/katiewest/108938261/

I bought a print in a hot second when she was selling them and was so entranced by it that I had to paint.

The painting itself is not for sale. It's too precious to me personally and means...things I'm not comfortable telling anyone. It's that important to me. This, like Pegasus Rising and before it, The Wasteland, was a turning point in my work.

That being said, I am selling prints now. Here and on my Etsy (as soon as i can beat my Etsy into submission). And these are prints that I do myself, with my tiny giclee printer. They're not numbered, but they are signed.

Wish For Wings
8 1/2 x 11 sheet size (the image is a little smaller than that)
$40








* * *

Today, the Mouse graduated from Pre-K. She turns 5 in less than two months. I hardly know what to do with myself.

She's having a rough time of it lately. She's discovered teh Drama and discovered that the parental units do not find teh Drama amusing.

I swear, parenting is a contact sport.

* * *

Lakers Victory Parade has turned downtown into a madhouse. A glorious one, but a madhouse nonetheless.

I will be grateful when this day is done.

Back To It

May. 19th, 2009 06:18 pm
angela_n_hunt: (Default)
Cleared by the good doctor to go back to work tomorrow.

I am conflicted.

It will be nice to have five minutes that are not devoted to being life support for the Bean.  It will also be hard to be away from my girls.  I spent a few hours today just holding the Bean and soaking up the baby vibe.  Smelling the top of her head.  Holding her little body against my chest.

It's hard being a working mother.  But it's also a life that I think is important.

My dream is that one day we'll live in a world where businesses understand that it's not a bad thing to bring your kids to work.  That spending money on company day care is a way to keep good workers and make for a great workplace.  That telecommuting and flex time are not evil, but ways to be competitive.  That people who choose to have children and take time off to take care of them are just as serious about their careers as the driven singles.

This is why I wish I could completely sustain my part of the family budget through my art.  As my own boss, I can give myself these things.  Flex time.  Work from home.  Take my girls with me.  Hell, the Mouse has become a great artist assistant.  She already draws better than most of the kids her age and I know it's because she's surrounded by art and has the supplies at her fingers every day.  It's not a once a week activity.  It's daily.  She takes pretty good pictures with her little camera.  She is starting to figure out what light does.  She tells stories non stop with her toys.  She loves the music that's coming back into the house through the agency of our musical friends.

It gives her, and eventually, it'll give her sister, a core of imagination and creativity that I see missing from her peers, whether they become artists or musicians or writers or not.

I wish.

So I keep swinging.

Back to the dayjob tomorrow.  But only for now.
angela_n_hunt: (Default)
Got no damn sleep last night.  Bean (now officially my Coffee Bean) pulled about two/three hours of being wide awake, starting around 1 am.

Ow.

So exhausted that I asked the Ant to cover for me this morning and took a nap once the Mouse was off to school.

Ow.

I'm going back to work in a little less than a week.

I'm in trouble.

And I'm starving.  It's like I can't put enough food in me to deal with all the nursing I'm doing. 

Ow.

This doesn't last forever though.  That's what I know now in clear relief.  It's actually for a very short period of time.  It's over far too fast.  Just in the meantime, I'm very tired, for a quality and definition of tired that's hard to describe.  You know it's bad when sleep feels like a physical weight that falls on your eyes.

So.

That's all I've gotten done.  Slept in one hour chunks.  Nursed.  Scrambled for food.  Slept.  Nursed.  Taken ibuprofen in amounts that are probably destroying my liver.  I remind myself that it's enough.  My art is patient and isn't going anywhere.  Novel's sitting patiently on the computer.  Hunt Press website is down, but other connectivity is still live, so I'm not losing my mind. 

The Bean's calling for me.  Time to nurse again.

Moo.

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