The Enchanter's Theorem

Woof.

Completely overwhelmed over here, but in a good way. 

Short form:  Traveling with Pain by Liz Hamill will be on the Kindle and Nook very soon!  In the meantime, you can download the straight PDF eBook from here:  http://stores.lulu.com/huntpress

Lots in the pipe now.  Like woah.

We're close to 50% for the campaign for the new computer which is EPIC.

eARCs for Runs in Good Condition, Monica Marier's second Linus book and sequel to Must Love Dragons will be available and going out as of May 1stish.  If you would like to be included on the ARC distribution, please email us at info at huntpress.com

Oh, and Joanna Russ has died.  That I don't have words for except these.  Thank you, great lady.  You are one of the reasons that I can do what I'm doing.

There's more.  I can't dump it out.  More later!

*jogs off*

- Madam Publisher

Did a rough pass through the photos last night.  Showed the Ant and Mouse.  The Mouse announced, "You did a good job, Mommy!" and patted me on the shoulder.

Hey, she's my Tiny Art Director and I'll take that any day.

Also got the one page cover for Zenschooling confirmed, so as soon as I get my software sorrows worked out, it'll be done and live and I will sing and dance.  Or something.  At which point I dive in to the same process with Must Love Dragons, followed by the Book and Art Party, followed by my own birthday, followed by my anniversary, followed by seeing in laws somewhere in there, followed by the husband's birthday, Thanksgiving and then, fuck it'll be Yule.

Yeah.

From here till the end of the year?

I'm not sleeping.

*buckles on six guns*

Giddy up.

And that's it, right there.

To say that I am pathetically, wrung out, falling down grateful, is to put it so mildly as to be an understatement of the first water.

The neuro, Dr. Regev, was a treat. Soft spoken, blunt, and on his game. Saw me at 2 pm promptly. Did some basic physio. Was actually surprised that yes, I really am ambidextrous, but was fairly much in agreement that it was buried drusen. Looking at the photos of my optic nerves, (he was a mutterer), he kept saying, "No, no, I don't think it's that (mutter mumble)," which was great, but I couldn't understand a damn thing he said. He then called his friend who is apparently one of the best radio-neurologists *in the country*.

By the way, this was a neuro I got through referral from Dr. Schneider. You know, my epic awesome OB. Yeah. Jessica Schneider for the win, *again*.

She got me an appointment at 4 PM for the MRI. An hour and a half from me sitting in Dr. Regev's office. This would be Dr. Rachel Gordon at the MINK center. Seriously. It's called MINK.

The husband and I left there, he went and got food, I went and found a Coffee Bean and made my first round of calls as promised. And then we went to MINK.

They were running late, and I could tell how seriously they were taking it, because the admin at the front desk came to me only to let me know they were running late, but they'd get me in as soon as possible. Amusingly enough, they saw me about five minutes after that. Where my first tech reminded me that I had to take my bra off too. Metal clasps.

Jonathan was the name of my MRI tech. Dapper young black man who gave me ear plugs and got me as comfortable as possible.

And then he dropped the plastic guard over my face and tucked the foam blocks around my head.

Some of you know that I'm claustrophobic.

I nearly panicked.

Yet again, I am grateful grateful grateful, for the years of meditation practice. I closed my eyes. I made myself not open them. And I went to my Center and I *stayed there*, seeing myself in the open, while the MRI howled around me like the interior of a BMW engine, shifting through all five gears on the Audubon.

30 minutes went by in what felt like about ten, when I felt the table roll out of the MRI and I let myself open my eyes.

I put on my shoes, got my stuff, stepped outside, where a handsome woman only a little older looking than me caught my eye and said, "Ms. Hunt?" (She was wearing this gorgeous turquoise necklace.)

I stopped and looked at her.

"I'm the doctor."

I just stared. I don't think I breathed.

"There's nothing there," she said. "Your brain looks fine. No tumor."

"Just the drusen?" I asked stupidly. It hadn't sunk in.

"Just the drusen."

The rest of the conversation was just noise in my ears. I walked into the waiting room and told the husband. I managed to not break down in the waiting room. He just held me. I only broke down when I was in the car, was on the phone with the Mad Model, and we both began to cry.

It's not great news. The drusen are still there, camped out on my optic nerve. The damage to my visual field still exists. But this? This I can deal with. This I can work with.

I know, I know, I know down to the bottom of my soul, and I knew while I was in the MRI, that you all had my back. I could feel how well I was surrounded and protected.

The cat and I thank you.

*kisses each and every one of you*

Yesterday was challenging. But it was good that it was. It made me focus in again.

I have a tendency to get bogged down in my To Do List. Plod along and miss the bigger downrange view of what and where I want to be. As much as I hate days like yesterday and as much pain as they can bring, when I surface out of them, it's always with renewed commitment to my goals.

Sometimes, growth is painful.

I may be a cog for a brief time, but damn it, I'm gonna be a hot pink cog with silver detailing.

* * *

Looks like I'm starting to zero in on final details for the Hunt Press 4th Annual Book and Art Party. If you are interested in exhibiting, email me at angela.n.hunt at gmail.com. The more the merrier! At this point, I'm looking at Saturday, October 10th.

I'm hoping to feature the most recent series heavily in this show.

Yeah. My brain isn't giving me anything else. More later as I think of it.

New photos will be up later tonight.

Had to stop work on the computer last night because I just couldn't sit anymore. Had to put the feet up. Feet and ankles are doing the swelling thing of late pregnancy which after a certain point, physically hurts.

This morning isn't much better for the physical discomfort/pain level. Tylenol is in my future.

I've gained too much weight. Not according to the OB, but according to me. Put on 7 pounds in two weeks, which freaks me the fuck out. I'm not going to calorie restrict by any stretch of the imagination, but I am going to reduce the number of complex carbs I've been sucking in. More fruit. More salad. I don't want to be where I was after the Mouse. It took me two years to lose all that weight.

That being said, I'm having a delightful morning. Getting unlooked for notes from people has made me smile.

The house is still a nightmare of boxes and I need to put up more art, but it's home.

Work is work and does it's thing.

I have a pile of photographs to edit and a painting to finish. I'm also going through all of my logbooks of the last 20 years. Yes. 20 years. I'm destroying most of them. When I can't remember half of the people I'm writing about that I was working with at the time? It's not relevant. I am yanking the little that is important and resonates. Things I wrote after the death of my father. Early notes on novels and drafts of poetry. Those are worth keeping and are going to go into some form of bindery.

But the rest?

The rest doesn't need to endure.

It's slow going, but I'm finding that I'm feeling lighter for not carrying around the burden of all of this paper.

I got enough sleep.

I got enough food.

But I'm in the hole this morning. Need to avoid the news today. Too many stories out there that are triggering bad things in my head and making me feel even worse.

I want a replacement brain. And I want to stop swimming in this damn hormone soup, but there's nothing for that.

Coffee (decaf) tastes like ass this morning too. *makes cat hairball face*

Someone tell me something good. I need to climb out of this stupid hole.

Yeah, I don't have one this morning. I'm awake and almost perky, so that'll have to do instead.

My evening was hijacked last night which has left me minorly cranky. Half of it was hijacked by what I wanted it to be hijacked by. The other half was hijacked by an overstay and way too many loud children. If they'd been having fun the entire time, it would have been one thing, but there were moments of sturm and drang that made my skin twitch. I had to retreat to the bedroom before bed for a few minutes of complete alone time to come down from the beginning cranky.

While I had those few minutes of peace, I did manage to purge more of the files that I've had for the last seven years. On the one hand, very freeing. On the other, fuck, I really am upset that I've held on to all of this crap for so long. Sub-optimal in the extreme.

And that was all that I managed to accomplish. The rest of my plans took a header.

Bean Update: OB appt. yesterday was unequivocably fabulous though. Weight gain is still low compared to last time and Bean is doing awesome. Great heartbeat and she did some calisthenics for Dr. Schneider, which was awesome. Still staying head down and anterior, rather than the posterior dance her sister did which caused me so many problems. Gestation this time around has been much easier. We're a little over seven weeks out from my due date. I can't wait.

Probably going to see Watchmen this weekend, but first, there is the housewarming tomorrow at 3 PM. If you did not get a copy of the evite, consider yourself invited anyway. If you need directions, give me a ping at angela.n.hunt at gmail dot com. We would LOVE to see you.

I'm in the last trimester and really the last eight weeks or so of the pregnancy. Home stretch, but also where the fatigue ramps up, because the Bean is now sucking in as much final building blocks as she can. Iron. Magnesium. All the protein in the world. Some carbs.

Which is a long way to say, I'm really, really tired. Which gets me down emotionally, even though I know exactly what's going on.

Yeah. I'm done being pregnant.

Husband's having a hard time at work too, which makes me sad.

It's also cold in the office, which doesn't help.

Yes, today would be much better served by a day at the spa.

I plead it. No picture till tonight, the caveat being, if I don't fall asleep on the couch again, like I did last night during Obama's speech. And it's not like the man was boring. I was apparently just that damn tired. Hell, I fell asleep during a conversation with the Ant. She was talking to me. And I went down like the damn Hindenburg, a skill I have normally attributed to the Mouse, not to me.

So, I was apparently more tired than even I thought. Writing did not get done. The Bean has clearly powered up to more growing and is sucking every erg of energy and food that I get. I'm eating twice as much as I was and I'm hungry all the damn time, which I dislike. I'm uping my dosage of iron and magnesium in the hopes I'll get some energy back. Wish me luck.

In the meantime, the morning's commute was fine for a change and dayjob is steady and productive. Hopefully this means that the day will burn by.

Picture tonight and more writing. Please, dear gods. No dropping over.

*goes to take more magnesium*

We have connectivity at the new house and a working phone. Huzzah! Unfortunately, digging through backlog precluded me getting today's picture posted. Bah.

BUT!

The Mad Model is coming for a visit in three weeks, so the very pregnant photographer here will get more images! Wiktory! I am very excited and happy that this is happening.

Drive in to work this morning was not the nightmare that the drive home was last night. I'm hoping it lasts till this evening's drive home. That was very much made of Bad.

And that's about all I've got this morning. My brain is tired.