The Enchanter's Theorem

Was over at Boing Boing, reading one of Danny Choo's guest blogs. Very good writer, and makes me miss Japan like mad.

One of his posts made a good point. If you hate Mondays because of work or school, you're doing the wrong thing with your life. It's a very obvious observation. One I've made many times myself.

The wall I hit is... I know what I want to do with my life. I don't get paid even close to what I currently make as a cube drone for what I want to do with my life. I can't even support myself on my art wages, let alone support my family.

So it's a beautiful thought. But when it comes to real world application, I'm left sighing, like I always do.

Yes, I'd love to just do what I want to do with my life. Make art all the time. Write. Paint. Photograph beautiful naked women. Please, gods, can I just photograph beautiful naked women for the rest of my natural life? Please? And some day, I will be doing just that while getting to vacation in the South of France and wasting money at the Casino in Monte Carlo, playing roulette and baccarat.

Until that day, I work a dayjob. I hate it. I don't have to like it. I try to bloom where I'm planted. I bring the non-confrontational bits of art to my cube and hang it on the walls to keep me centered. I have quotes and notes from my muses and mentors on the walls too. They keep me real and focused.

It's not simple. It's not just, do what you love and the fucking money will follow. I've actually done that. I did it for nine/ten years, off and on. Money never followed. I would have been better off working, saving my pennies and taking fully funded sabbaticals from time to time or gone on art residencies, rather than what happened to me, *twice*. Ending up near penniless, scrambling for a job that would feed me and others, and having to put my art on complete hold for almost two years in one case.

I've been stupid. I listened to people who said, oh hey, babe, don't worry about it. The money will just mystically take care of itself. You have to have faith in your work and in the Universe.

I do have faith in the Universe. I have faith that the Universe only helps me when I actually get off my ass and work, even if it's retail, rather than sitting around, waiting for a handout. Maybe it makes me not spiritual enough.

Today, I don't give a shit.

It's easy for people to stand around and say, oh, just do what makes you happy.

I'm beginning to think it takes serious balls to stand up and say instead, do the right thing, get your house in order, pay your bills, take care of your responsibilities, be diligent and persistent in your art. The rest is bullshit and silence.

"Just" being happy isn't enough for me anymore.

When I was younger, I used to say I was here to rattle the World's cage. People convinced me that was arrogant. I wish I'd told them to go die in a hole.

Today is a Blue Monster kind of day. Today, it's change the world or go home.

The rest is bullshit and silence.