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Jan. 27th, 2011 05:22 pmIt wasn't long before she started to shrink, but that was to be expected. The trees grew and grew as she shrank and shrank, their trunks becoming walls that began and ended for long distances, the undergrowth now towering over her like trees that were too green. She sighed when she saw the giant mushrooms. Hopefully he wasn't at home.
No such luck.
On the largest and most red capped one of all, the Caterpillar sat, hookah fully engaged. The sight still gave Alice pause. It was, after all, a Caterpillar and from her perception, fricken' enormous, pincers under a somewhat humanized face, all green and black speckled and too many legs and and and! Damn creature gave her the heebies. And it was an asshole.
"Who are you?" It announced and Alice went ahead and frowned.
"You first."
"Back again," It said in its usual withering tone.
"Just like a fucking bad penny," Alice said and grinned viciously. "Miss me?"
"I thought you weren't coming back. Aren't you supposed to be retired already?"
"Yeah well. Not yet."
"Not ever, you mean."
"I like what I do. I'm very good at it. I don't want to do anything else. Last I checked, that wasn't a crime," Alice bristled.
"So keep doing it."
"It has a shelf life. At a certain point, I'm going to be too slow and not clever enough."
"Open a dojo?"
"Who would I train? It's not like there are non-classified schools for what I do."
"Go for Instructor?"
"I guess."
"You guess? You guess?" the Caterpillar reiterated in withering tones.
"No need to be an asshole."
"You're the asshole."
Alice flipped the Caterpillar off.
"You know the drill," it announced, shaking It's head in disgust at her. "One side for bigger, one side for smaller." And with that it picked up It's hookah and crawled off with a final "Hmph!" for good measure.
Alice flipped It off again for good measure. Then carefully reached to one side of the mushroom for a good sized chunk to break off and repeated the action on the other. Tucked them in opposite pockets of her BDU pants and went on her way. When the plants around her started to look right, she reached in to her left pocket and ate a piece of mushroom. By the time she had reached the end of the wood and stepped into the glade around the Duchess' estate, she was back to her normal size.
That was one thing for having been to Wonderland so many times. One didn't spend a lot of time mucking about with what did what and end up with birds screaming at you about being a snake because your neck was a hundred times too long for its own good.
No such luck.
On the largest and most red capped one of all, the Caterpillar sat, hookah fully engaged. The sight still gave Alice pause. It was, after all, a Caterpillar and from her perception, fricken' enormous, pincers under a somewhat humanized face, all green and black speckled and too many legs and and and! Damn creature gave her the heebies. And it was an asshole.
"Who are you?" It announced and Alice went ahead and frowned.
"You first."
"Back again," It said in its usual withering tone.
"Just like a fucking bad penny," Alice said and grinned viciously. "Miss me?"
"I thought you weren't coming back. Aren't you supposed to be retired already?"
"Yeah well. Not yet."
"Not ever, you mean."
"I like what I do. I'm very good at it. I don't want to do anything else. Last I checked, that wasn't a crime," Alice bristled.
"So keep doing it."
"It has a shelf life. At a certain point, I'm going to be too slow and not clever enough."
"Open a dojo?"
"Who would I train? It's not like there are non-classified schools for what I do."
"Go for Instructor?"
"I guess."
"You guess? You guess?" the Caterpillar reiterated in withering tones.
"No need to be an asshole."
"You're the asshole."
Alice flipped the Caterpillar off.
"You know the drill," it announced, shaking It's head in disgust at her. "One side for bigger, one side for smaller." And with that it picked up It's hookah and crawled off with a final "Hmph!" for good measure.
Alice flipped It off again for good measure. Then carefully reached to one side of the mushroom for a good sized chunk to break off and repeated the action on the other. Tucked them in opposite pockets of her BDU pants and went on her way. When the plants around her started to look right, she reached in to her left pocket and ate a piece of mushroom. By the time she had reached the end of the wood and stepped into the glade around the Duchess' estate, she was back to her normal size.
That was one thing for having been to Wonderland so many times. One didn't spend a lot of time mucking about with what did what and end up with birds screaming at you about being a snake because your neck was a hundred times too long for its own good.
