Lantern Tree III

[angela_n_hunt]

And another of the desert’s lantern tree.

To give you an idea of how taken I was with this tree, I am currently working on turning on of the trees in our backyard into something similar. It was just that amazing.

* * *

Had an amazing visit this past weekend with my dear friend, Greta, who is an amazing painter. She was in a show here in LA and had asked if she could couch surf and I jumped at the chance to have her visit. You can see her piece here: Valentina The photo does not do the piece justice.

Over the two and a half days she was here (which was too damn short a visit) we talked and drank and talked and drank and talked some more, but one thing did come up more than once.

The need to get out of one’s own way. The need to just make the art we are here to make and fuck where it lands. Fuck the market. Fuck the world even. Just. Make. The. Damn. Art. And then my professional media credentials arrived in the mail from APA and the context was about other things, but after Greta left and I had time to really think about it, I realized…

I need to get out of my own way. The move cratered me a bit, that’s true, but we’re moved now. I need to just make the art I’m here to make. Fuck where it lands. Fuck who gets it. Fuck that it scares me. I just need to make the damn art.

So. That’s what I’ve been doing.

I’ll be honest, I’m a wee bit scared. Some of what wants to get written in the new novel is taking me to a dark place. Some of the art I want to paint and photograph feels completely beyond my grasp. I’ve got enough of an audience now and done enough to be out there that I was apparently actively worrying about how the next work would be received. Whether people would get it. Or like it. Worried about fucking it up.

But better to reach…and fail. Than never reach at all.

I was letting the worrying hamstring me. It wasn’t blatant, but it was there.

Well.

Enough.

Here we go.

Originally published at ANGELA N. HUNT. You can comment here or there.

Comments

[eustacia-vye28.livejournal.com]

I like the chandelier all the way on the right side of the tree, actually. Pretty!

Sometimes the darkfic just needs to be written, not necessarily for mass consumption, but because it needs to be written. You can always pull it apart later if you can't turn it into something for others. If you create something that makes you happy or challenges you (in a way that you enjoy, not just because Writer's Block decided to fuck with you or something) then it will show through. Someone will appreciate the effort, never fear.

[angela-n-hunt.livejournal.com]

Thank you for that. For all of it, actually.

[eustacia-vye28.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

You're very welcome!

I think it's harder to keep that kind of mentality when the writing is your primary source of income. I can afford to push the computer or notebook away if the words don't come out right, and wait to write what I'm interested in. But it shows if you force it along, and that makes for a painful read. I don't know if it helps to have a few projects going at once, but that's how I would manage being stuck. So it feels weird if I'm not working on at least two things at once. :D

[angela-n-hunt.livejournal.com]

It can be challenging, that is for certain. I actually have multiple projects going, which keeps me sane. I don't know how other folks can only work on only one thing at a time. I'd go bonkers. :)

[eustacia-vye28.livejournal.com]

i guess focus can be a good thing, but I like juggling projects. I feel more accomplished when they're done, that's for sure. :D

[angela-n-hunt.livejournal.com]

*grin* I've heard that. I prefer juggling too. *whips out the flaming chainsaws*

[eustacia-vye28.livejournal.com]

Ye-aaahh... Somehow not surprised they're flaming chainsaws. Or that you'll catch them. ;)

[angela-n-hunt.livejournal.com]

LOL And thank you for that.