Looking Back
Dec. 31st, 2010 12:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
angela_n_huntNew Year's Eve.
Well.
Fuck.
By the end of 2009, I just felt lucky and glad to have survived. While not as full of epic awful as 2008 had been, 2009 was no picnic.
So much happened in 2010 that I actually cannot hold it all in my memory. I had to go trawling through my log to jog the brain cells loose and see what was worth remembering and what was just fine being eaten by memory rot.
Either way, looking back, it leaves me staggered.
Last year started off slow, but with photographs, so it really shouldn't have surprised me that it roared off and went with that theme. I crowdfunded a solo show and it was more successful then any show that I've done, *period*. Let that be a lesson to us all. And while I landed no reviews, the critics showed up and that, that right there, my darlings, is a huge accomplishment. I'm still far down on the totem pole of fine art photographers. But I no longer am in the non-existent list. Out of that show came another photography book as well and of all the ones I've done so far, it is by far the one I'm most proud of.
What's really cool is that I think the Alice Assassin series is going to blast the Between Heaven & Hell series out of the water.
I had to drop a lot of my painting. Last year was the first year that I had so much going on that I had to eject stuff and painting went first. It hurts a little, but painting is the thing that while I could probably make a serious stab at it, it's not the main career track here. Writing and running the press are Number One with Photography duking it out to eject it from the top spot by coming in a close second. Painting is the thing I do when I have no more words and no more things to shoot. I don't think 2011 is going to be much better, but it has to be. I have two book covers commissioned and I have to get them done. On the upside, I broke the idea for them and have the reference to move forward. Look forward to knives and birds.
We got a handle on our debt finally last year. We're still not out of the woods, but we're slowly wiping it out. I can't tell you how good it feels. The raw wound of losing the house is still there. But being able to eject the collaterol damage of debt that came with us out of it... Well, that goes a little way to healing. As a result, I am more then ever committed to never acquiring debt ever again, unless it's a house or possibly a car. It's not worth it.
Which puts me in a bit of a pickle, as funding for most businesses is done through the credit cycle. I am...conflicted. I need to grow the press. And that means taking on debt. I really don't want to. So the first order of business is to fully incorporate this year, so that if the worst happens and the press fails (not bloody likely), it won't wipe me and the family out. It's the only fucking responsible thing to do.
The Bean turned a whole year old. She's fast on her way to becoming our Evil Overlord. The blocks are coming along nicely as her first Robot Army.
The Mouse. Gods. My Mouse. There are moments I catch flashes of the older girl she will be, possibilities of the woman she might become. I can't even describe.
My girls are the most beautiful and terrifying creatures I've ever beheld. I am so humbled that they chose me, chose us, to be their parents. May they never lose their fierce brilliance.
But along with that joy, came the crushing grief of the passing of the Mad Model's mother, Chris. Who was broken and flawed and missed. Gods. She's missed. In July, an old friend I'd long lost touch with, Charles Cala, from high school was killed, struck by a truck while riding his bike. And so many of my friends and chosen family lost loved ones last year or had relationships fail or some other emotional calamity fell on them. For a while there, it was like the death toll would not fucking stop. Crone as I am, even I grow weary of it. In the midst of recovering, it was like blows as you're trying to get back up to your feet. In that regard, 2010 sucked donkey balls.
I wrote not only one, but two books last year, a first for me and it made me recalibrate my idea of what I thought I was capable of, writing wise. And on top of that, one of those books was the memoir about my father, the book so many have been asking me to write for so long. It was fucking brutal to write. I am glad I finally gave in and did it. Which is why writing Alice Assassin to Draft 0 was such a gift then in November. Because while it went dark as hell, it was also just fucking fun to write. It was bitter and dark and evil and I laughed and laughed and laughed. I can't remember the last time I had that much fun just...writing.
And I turned 40. And it was...glorious. I spent the very night of my birthday surrounded by my loved ones in a truly glorious space and there was even a half naked woman dancing on a bar that night and I didn't even have to ask for her to show up! She just did! Which just proves that the Gods made a small attempt to apologize for the earlier part of the year's difficulty.
My press, my baby, Hunt Press, published not one, not two, not three, but four books last year. I've got books scheduled to publish all the way through September of *2012*. And for the first year since we opened and *before* our 5th Anniversary in 2011, we are in the black. I didn't have to put any additional capital in to keep us running. That's the kind of huge that I can't even adequately describe.
Y'know how when the shuttle takes off, there's that first stage as she's just lifting from the gantry so so so slowly? And then she begins to accelerate?
That's what 2010 felt like.
Look.
There goes the gantry falling away from us right now.
Bring it, 2011. I'm coming for you.
Well.
Fuck.
By the end of 2009, I just felt lucky and glad to have survived. While not as full of epic awful as 2008 had been, 2009 was no picnic.
So much happened in 2010 that I actually cannot hold it all in my memory. I had to go trawling through my log to jog the brain cells loose and see what was worth remembering and what was just fine being eaten by memory rot.
Either way, looking back, it leaves me staggered.
Last year started off slow, but with photographs, so it really shouldn't have surprised me that it roared off and went with that theme. I crowdfunded a solo show and it was more successful then any show that I've done, *period*. Let that be a lesson to us all. And while I landed no reviews, the critics showed up and that, that right there, my darlings, is a huge accomplishment. I'm still far down on the totem pole of fine art photographers. But I no longer am in the non-existent list. Out of that show came another photography book as well and of all the ones I've done so far, it is by far the one I'm most proud of.
What's really cool is that I think the Alice Assassin series is going to blast the Between Heaven & Hell series out of the water.
I had to drop a lot of my painting. Last year was the first year that I had so much going on that I had to eject stuff and painting went first. It hurts a little, but painting is the thing that while I could probably make a serious stab at it, it's not the main career track here. Writing and running the press are Number One with Photography duking it out to eject it from the top spot by coming in a close second. Painting is the thing I do when I have no more words and no more things to shoot. I don't think 2011 is going to be much better, but it has to be. I have two book covers commissioned and I have to get them done. On the upside, I broke the idea for them and have the reference to move forward. Look forward to knives and birds.
We got a handle on our debt finally last year. We're still not out of the woods, but we're slowly wiping it out. I can't tell you how good it feels. The raw wound of losing the house is still there. But being able to eject the collaterol damage of debt that came with us out of it... Well, that goes a little way to healing. As a result, I am more then ever committed to never acquiring debt ever again, unless it's a house or possibly a car. It's not worth it.
Which puts me in a bit of a pickle, as funding for most businesses is done through the credit cycle. I am...conflicted. I need to grow the press. And that means taking on debt. I really don't want to. So the first order of business is to fully incorporate this year, so that if the worst happens and the press fails (not bloody likely), it won't wipe me and the family out. It's the only fucking responsible thing to do.
The Bean turned a whole year old. She's fast on her way to becoming our Evil Overlord. The blocks are coming along nicely as her first Robot Army.
The Mouse. Gods. My Mouse. There are moments I catch flashes of the older girl she will be, possibilities of the woman she might become. I can't even describe.
My girls are the most beautiful and terrifying creatures I've ever beheld. I am so humbled that they chose me, chose us, to be their parents. May they never lose their fierce brilliance.
But along with that joy, came the crushing grief of the passing of the Mad Model's mother, Chris. Who was broken and flawed and missed. Gods. She's missed. In July, an old friend I'd long lost touch with, Charles Cala, from high school was killed, struck by a truck while riding his bike. And so many of my friends and chosen family lost loved ones last year or had relationships fail or some other emotional calamity fell on them. For a while there, it was like the death toll would not fucking stop. Crone as I am, even I grow weary of it. In the midst of recovering, it was like blows as you're trying to get back up to your feet. In that regard, 2010 sucked donkey balls.
I wrote not only one, but two books last year, a first for me and it made me recalibrate my idea of what I thought I was capable of, writing wise. And on top of that, one of those books was the memoir about my father, the book so many have been asking me to write for so long. It was fucking brutal to write. I am glad I finally gave in and did it. Which is why writing Alice Assassin to Draft 0 was such a gift then in November. Because while it went dark as hell, it was also just fucking fun to write. It was bitter and dark and evil and I laughed and laughed and laughed. I can't remember the last time I had that much fun just...writing.
And I turned 40. And it was...glorious. I spent the very night of my birthday surrounded by my loved ones in a truly glorious space and there was even a half naked woman dancing on a bar that night and I didn't even have to ask for her to show up! She just did! Which just proves that the Gods made a small attempt to apologize for the earlier part of the year's difficulty.
My press, my baby, Hunt Press, published not one, not two, not three, but four books last year. I've got books scheduled to publish all the way through September of *2012*. And for the first year since we opened and *before* our 5th Anniversary in 2011, we are in the black. I didn't have to put any additional capital in to keep us running. That's the kind of huge that I can't even adequately describe.
Y'know how when the shuttle takes off, there's that first stage as she's just lifting from the gantry so so so slowly? And then she begins to accelerate?
That's what 2010 felt like.
Look.
There goes the gantry falling away from us right now.
Bring it, 2011. I'm coming for you.
