Wednesday Fear
Aug. 16th, 2006 06:36 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
angela_n_huntIt's not something I wanted to give energy to, but this morning it's very much in my mind.
A little while ago, I think not even a month ago, there was a shooting in my neighborhood. A young woman, 17 years old, was shot and killed in an alley not even four blocks from my house. The next day, two boys collecting money for her funeral were also shot and killed. This last weekend, there was another shooting. I don't know if there was a death or not. I haven't heard anything from the neighborhood yet, but it doesn't change the fact that there have now been three shootings in the space of one/two months.
I've lived here for four years. This is the first time there's been anything like this kind of violence. I can't say I haven't lived in violent, unsafe neighborhoods before. When I lived in San Francisco, the house I was in was burglarized three separate times, in three different ways. They only ever caught one of the burglars, who turned out to be an old man who had mostly come in to steal painkillers. He was profoundly sad when I saw him when I went to testify at his trial.
I'm not sure entirely where I'm going with this, unless it's this.
I know what it's like to live this way, but before, I didn't have a child. I won't let the Mouse play in the front yard on the weekends anymore. Turns out there's this phenomenon where gang members are going back to their old neighborhoods on the weekends, since gentrification has forced most of them and their families to move. That's what's happening in our neighborhood. All the violence has been near the weekends.
I don't like that I have to keep my child inside or in my backyard, because I'm afraid of what might happen. I don't know how to explain it to her, this tribalism and territorialism within our own city.
I don't know how to explain it to her at all.
* * *
I apologize for the somber note, but it's part of my world right now. As for the rest, the day job is profoundly stupid. The happiness from my vacation wore off within the first hour of being back on the job on Monday. It was pitiful.
* * *
Promotion continues for the solo show and book launch. Watch this space and others for updates.
A little while ago, I think not even a month ago, there was a shooting in my neighborhood. A young woman, 17 years old, was shot and killed in an alley not even four blocks from my house. The next day, two boys collecting money for her funeral were also shot and killed. This last weekend, there was another shooting. I don't know if there was a death or not. I haven't heard anything from the neighborhood yet, but it doesn't change the fact that there have now been three shootings in the space of one/two months.
I've lived here for four years. This is the first time there's been anything like this kind of violence. I can't say I haven't lived in violent, unsafe neighborhoods before. When I lived in San Francisco, the house I was in was burglarized three separate times, in three different ways. They only ever caught one of the burglars, who turned out to be an old man who had mostly come in to steal painkillers. He was profoundly sad when I saw him when I went to testify at his trial.
I'm not sure entirely where I'm going with this, unless it's this.
I know what it's like to live this way, but before, I didn't have a child. I won't let the Mouse play in the front yard on the weekends anymore. Turns out there's this phenomenon where gang members are going back to their old neighborhoods on the weekends, since gentrification has forced most of them and their families to move. That's what's happening in our neighborhood. All the violence has been near the weekends.
I don't like that I have to keep my child inside or in my backyard, because I'm afraid of what might happen. I don't know how to explain it to her, this tribalism and territorialism within our own city.
I don't know how to explain it to her at all.
* * *
I apologize for the somber note, but it's part of my world right now. As for the rest, the day job is profoundly stupid. The happiness from my vacation wore off within the first hour of being back on the job on Monday. It was pitiful.
* * *
Promotion continues for the solo show and book launch. Watch this space and others for updates.
