Caryatid

Caryatid, originally uploaded by quennessa.

Revisiting, since I didn't manage to get anything new edited or posted this weekend, which is just fine. I did get two gallery subs out, which equals victory.

In a lot of ways, even though there were shoots before this, this is where it started, and this image is when I realized how special the Mad Model was.

Naked in a necropolis.

Not a lot of people will do that for you.

I love you, sweet. You help me make it happen.

* * *

I'm revisiting this for another reason. Caryatids are women who support ceilings and today, I feel more like Rodin's Caryatid Fallen Under Her Stone. Collapsed. Existential angst and fat brain and sad. Even a bit borderline defeated.

Neither child wanted me to leave for work this morning. Neither did I.

And yet, the dayjob gives me time and breath to do things that need to get done. Pays the rent. Feeds us and clothes us. Gets the bills moderately paid.

Maybe it was the listing I found today. Studio space for rent in Mar Vista, literally half a minute from the house. I have no studio right now. No room. But even the small studio listed is beyond my reach, money wise. And really, when would I have time to go there? Bean isn't old enough and neither is Mouse to do what I did with my father. I was 10 when he started taking me to the shop with him.

I'm too damn emo for my own good today.

I feel empty and rung out this morning. I don't want to feel this way, but I know it won't do it's thing unless I'm willing to sit with it and let it tell me what it needs to tell me.

Oh, and did I mention I found the VHS tapes of my movie? I need to get it duped to DVD. We don't even own a VHS machine anymore. Found the location pix and production stills as well. It's been long enough that I actually stared at the tapes and went, "Oh yeah. I made movies, once upon a time. What the hell happened?"

Don't tell anyone, but I'd really like to make another movie. I really would.


I also wish I could afford to get Hammer duped. I'd like to watch it again, if only for the comedy and wince effect.

Okay. Enough wallowing for one morning. Time for coffee and focus. Work needs doing.