Entries tagged with mouse

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Duel

Originally published at Curse & Quanta. Please leave any comments there.

Apparently I was just unconsciously shooting book covers for an epic fantasy series…

I’m not complaining!

There’s nothing about this one that I don’t love. NOM.

* * *

I woke up okay, but the anxiety is trying to amp up to panic, so I’m breathing and doing the exercises first, before I go and take my Klonopin.

School starts tomorrow. As a result, I am taking the Bean out to get new shoes. Shockingly, the shoes the Mouse currently has are fine and she loves them. One less thing.

* * *

Trying to figure out how much I can do in a day is really frustrating me. I just have no sense of what my endurance or recovery time is. I know I need to exercise more, but everything is a choice. I can exercise and not work on the Apocalyptica. I can exercise or not take care of my girls the way that they need. I can’t give up on my health, because it is directly related to my sanity.

So. I’ve got to figure that out. Which is okay. Everything is solvable.

In the meantime, I need to get the rest of the Sutro photos processed so I can to strip the establishing shots I took over the weekend into the computer, so I can get them prepped. And everything is taking five times longer than I want it to and then I stop…

I breathe…

And remember…

It takes as long as it takes.

And who knows? Hiking out to all these locations should get me in good shape. Climbing too. I’ll just let my body do what it needs to do. A breathing body is a perfect body.

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Stand Defiant

Originally published at Curse & Quanta. You can comment here or there.

No, we didn’t get arrested for having weapons. I have no idea how I managed it either, so don’t ask. LOL

* * *

*ahem*

TODAY IS THE MOUSE’S BIRTHDAY. THE POPULACE WILL MAKE MERRY UNDER PAIN OF DEATH. YES.

The Birthday Girl has asked for a session at the Salon of Mom and materials will be arriving soon for Cake of Awesomeness (delivery is my life saver).

*gets momentarily serious and maudlin*

I cannot remotely describe my eldest daughter adequately. She’s growing to be easily taller than me at this rate. She has a dancer’s grace and the steel strength that goes with it. She’s silly and sings ridiculous songs when I’m having a bad day. She’s maddening as hell and argues with me over any injustice in her mind, no matter how slight. She’s smart, goes without saying, but, the thing that I’m proudest of?

She’s kind.

Not all the time. She is a child still. But she tries. And she stands up for her friends and for herself and is not afraid to speak out against the things that she feels are wrong.

I don’t know how we got so lucky. She’s amazing. I helped make her. But the making of her now is starting to be more of her own choosing, and she is choosing far more wisely than I ever did. I mean it’s not all great. She appears to have inherited my predilection to anxiety and has an unusual variant of ADHD, but she’s learning how to turn them into strengths, not weaknesses.

And this year, the Perseid meteor shower that heralds her birth every year appears to be even more spectacular than usual. I blame her grandfather for that one. He likes to show off.

I have no idea what she will become. I just know it will be glorious. Even if that means becoming a beach bum. Because if she chooses that, she will be the greatest beach bum the world has ever seen. Or not. Doesn’t matter. Whatever she chooses, she appears to be choosing to be uniquely herself.

It’s fucking awesome.

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From the Vault: Cherub

This image is part of the Kinsey Institute Permanent Collection. The Kinsey would be formally and in full: The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction. It is one of the things that I am the most proud of and that I cherish as one of my greater accomplishments. I can still remember vividly the day that I received the letter from the curator, asking to include it and Dark Bast to the collection.

This is an actual arrested moment. A frozen moment in time that was not planned. The Mouse would not settle. She was not interested in posing. So the Ant got in the shot. And what I ended up with was probably one of the more perfect triple aspect images ever. Maiden, Mother, Crone.

I love this image for so many reasons. Knowing that it will be in the care of a museum for as long as that museum exists… There are no words for that.

Originally published at ANGELA N. HUNT. You can comment here or there.

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Keep Her Out of Trouble

But it’s a little girl with a rock. How much luck do you think the White Rook is going to have here?

Yeah, me neither.

* * *

I have acquired an epic set of blisters on my right foot pinkie toe and may end up missing a run this week to give it time to heal a little more.

Yesterday’s fourteen-miler was an interesting one in that physically, I was pretty fine, barring the blisters. Yes, as I got to the last three miles, I was feeling *tired*. But that wasn’t what was eating me.

It was all the bullshit in my head.

It’s amazing the crap judgments we run on ourselves. Yesterday, it was all about how I wasn’t running fast enough, never mind the blisters, never mind that I ache like an old lady, it didn’t matter. Every time someone passed me, the Critic in the head would start up on how we should speed up, we were going too slow, yadda yadda yadda…

Except…

In comparison to what?

The part of me that knows better came back very quickly thankfully with, “According to whom?”

So here’s this last run’s lesson.

This isn’t a speed race. It’s an endurance race. The point is to *finish*. And this is true about so many damn things. Who the fuck cares if you get there first? Because I have news for you. Someone’s already been there first. ALWAYS. But not everyone finishes.

Slow doesn’t matter.

*DONE* matters.

And right now? As of yesterday, I ran more than half a marathon. The Critic can suck it.

Originally published at Angela N. Hunt. You can comment here or there.

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Stay with Me

The husband loves this one for the Mouse’s expression. I do too. “Make the crazy lady stop squeezing me!”

Too perfect…

* * *

The end of the current novel is being a stone bitch. I know what happens. But unpacking it into actual action is killing me. I don’t know why. I am resorting to my usual trick of going to YouTube and watching fight scenes from my favorite movies for inspiration.

There are just not enough epic sword fight scenes in movies anymore…

Originally published at Angela N. Hunt. You can comment here or there.

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Alice’s Stone III

And we return you to your regular broadcast schedule…

Slowly digging through the photos. I meant to do more work last night, but my brain was so burnt after the few photos I got edited, I had to turn in. I ended up reading a book of Leonardo Da Vinci’s collected writings.

He didn’t think much of the willfully ignorant either…

* * *

Training is continuing to go well, which sustains me. So does writing. Husband is on the hustle. Still no word on other things.

We keep on keeping on.

Originally published at Angela N. Hunt. You can comment here or there.

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Ready!

Ready!, originally uploaded by quennessa.

Another from the Mouse's recital.

It's blurry, it's grainy, there's not enough light and I love it beyond belief. This was right before she led the other dancers on stage for their jazz number.

The excitement on her face is like a punch of joy to me.

Current Mood: working
Current Location: out in the World

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Pinky's Ransom

Pinky's Ransom, originally uploaded by quennessa.

This one, like the White Rook considering the Girl Alice, the one that seems to be so filled with nostalgia, *this* one...

Oh, the story.

And the White Queen's disdain...

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White Queen's Judgment

White Queen's Judgment, originally uploaded by quennessa.

Love the light and silhouette of this. It's ominous and just wonderful.

Oh yes.

Love this project so much.

Current Mood: working
Current Location: out in the World

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Girl Alice, White Rook, & White Queen

Girl Alice, Rook, and White Queen, originally uploaded by quennessa.

I love the arrested movement of Girl Alice in the background.

Whatever could it be that's caught her eye?

Current Mood: working
Current Location: out in the World

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By the Shore of the Blood Sea

What's this?

Could it be...an Alice?

On my beach?

* * *

Photographer's note: I did an alarmingly little amount of retouching on this series so far. It's probably one of the cleanest shoots I've done in a long time. What came out of the camera was almost exactly what I wanted.

So so so happy.

Current Mood: working
Current Location: out in the World

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Here, Hold This

38,970

NaNoWriMo.org appears to be down right now and considering how many of us there are, I'm surprised it hasn't gone down more this year.

It's not the novel I thought I was going to write. And I like it better than the idea I had. It's darker and unhappier, but there are things in it that I love so hard even as it's kicking my ass, so I am content.

The next phase is to start writing the nonsense verse for the book, which is going to be a real stretch and challenge as I don't consider myself that great a poet. I write it. I like the bits I've written. I'm not accomplished the way

ysabet_wordsmith is or some others I could name.

And really, how much espionage fantasy poetry have you ever read?

Exactly.

But there it is.

* * *

In other news, the Mouse and Bean are off to the pediatrician. The Bean for her next check up and vax shots, the Mouse for the second round of hearing tests.

Yeah.

*breathes*

Here's to hoping it's just wax buildup and not actual hearing loss in that left ear.

* * *

And in the category of things that I am thankful for:

You.

All of you.

I made pumpkin pie and whipped cream for you. You are all amazing. Thank you for being in my virtual and not so virtual life.

*kisses you on the cheek*

You're a diamond of the first water.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Current Mood: working
Current Location: out in the World

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Righteous Wave Chapbook

Lookie!

Winter chapbook cover from Hunt Press! It's coming together and has one of my all time favorite short stories in it, the title one, Righteous Wave.

It all goes well, it'll go on sale in October.

* * *

The Mouse began First Grade today.

o.O

When the hell did I become the Momma of a First Grader? Damn.

Current Mood: humbled
Current Location: Home

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SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

( You're about to view content that the journal owner has advised should be viewed with discretion. )

Current Mood: cookie haze
Current Location: home

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Locals: Girl Scout Cookies

Okay, folks. The cookie selling has officially begun. Who wants Girl Scout Cookies? Cookies are $4 a box.

If you need your fix, the Mouse is your pusher of choice. You can email me, the Momma, the Mouse's mule, at angela.n.hunt at gmail dot com. We'll make your delivery in a plain unmarked brown paper bag.

I'm now gonna go snort a box of Thin Mints.

Current Mood: bleary

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Tonight! First Fridays in Long Beach!

Tonight's the night! First Fridays at Everyday Zen Relaxation Studio. Event starts at 5:30 PM and runs for some time. I'll be there as close to 5:30 pm as I can make, jetting from downtown. Pray that traffic doesn't try to eat me.

More details and directions can be found here:

http://www.firstfridayslongbeach.com/

I hope to see you there!

* * *

Ant Update will be probably tomorrow. Final bills arrived. OW. But we're very close to having this completely done and taken care of, which wouldn't have been possible without all of you.

I am eternally grateful. Adverb and all. You guys rock the Casbah.

* * *

Managed to work on taxes *and* Strange Weather last night. Didn't get any gallery subs done, but two out of three is total awesome and Win.

The Bean has decided that she is only happy if she can be in the Ergo and riding on my back while I cook dinner or there is much screaming and yelling. Luckily, this is no big and actually, kinda fun. She coos and plays with the straps as I cook and walk around, which makes me smile. Baby coos are instant endorphin creators. You have to be dead to not smile when you hear a happy baby.

The Mouse is getting better and better at her sote arabesques too. Come Saturday, I think Miss Laura will be pleased. I just love watching her jump around, pointing her toes.

Now, I just need to mainline a metric ton of caffeine so I can pretend to be smiling and charming tonight at the art walk.

Current Mood: headache

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i owe you art and a kiss on the wrist

*blinkblink*

*looks around blearily for coffee mug*

Morning.

No picture today. Open house at school last night, followed by run to Aaron Bros. ate my evening. FYI, do not buy frames at Aaron Bros. anymore, unless they are for small photos. The large frames? Holy gods. Go to Dick Blick online. Aaron Bros. is just too expensive. I ended up only buying mattes, and only because they had some gorgeous ones that will fit the Between Heaven & Hell series, *perfectly*.

I do not cut my own mattes. I suck at it.

Aiya.

Tired.

To both Denison and

lunaticbubbles, you are both made of epic Win and I would not have survived last night without coming home to both of your smiling faces, a happy baby, and a dinner I didn't have to cook. Same to the husband who had the bottle of wine open and ready too.

* * *

Don't forget, First Fridays at Everyday Zen is this Friday evening. All sorts of lovely things going on and art on sale.

* * *

Update on the Ant later. Is good news from the orthopedist.

I'm going to go pour myself in to a vat of coffee now and try and wake up. Pray for me.

Current Mood: crappy
Current Location: home for two more minutes

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Devil

Devil, originally uploaded by quennessa.

At least now when I say the Devil made me do it, you can see why it's a reasonable excuse!

Wouldn't you do anything for her too?

* * *

Aiya. It is Monday with a vengeance. I want to go back to bed and not get up for a week.

My left hand has a persistent tingle that tells me I've got a pinched nerve somewhere. My brain is telling me that I didn't get enough rest, so I overate this weekend, and I am feeling very down. I know intellectually that if I could get some solid rest, I'd be a whole new human, but in this headspace, I just hate the world.

It's funny, because I got a lot accomplished this weekend, even in spite of most things going pancake shaped.

There were good things. The Mouse had her first ballet class and loved it. That's going to get me through for a long long time.

In fact, I think I'll just focus on that.

Okay. *deep breath*

Just stuff. Lots to do. The body's just tired. Life is good, no matter what it physically is telling me.

Gods, I need a day off.

Current Mood: awed

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Mouse's First Day of Real School

Today, the Mouse went to school. She didn't get to go to her class, because they're freaks because her TB test is out of date.

But she went.

She's gone to get her stuff so she can go tomorrow, but it doesn't change the basic.

My Mouse, my darling girl, my star-dusted, solar child, is officially a Kindergartener.

Dude. How the hell do I have a Kindergartener?

I am awed and emotional. I've not gone all weepy, which is awesome. But I am very emotional. In many ways, for me, this is the official start of beginning to let her go out into the World and try her wings. Pre-school and Nursery were very insulated and protected. This is still very protected, but it's where it starts.

You should have seen her fly out of bed this morning. She was so excited.

I hope she keeps ahold of that, that desire and excitement to learn. It's my job to protect that for as long as I can, no matter what. If school doesn't do it for her, I will make it happen some other way. As Tammy rightly points out, school isn't a prison if you know your parents got your back and will pull your ass out if it's needed.

But for now, school it is. The Mouse is a social butterfly and it's an easy way to meet many different people with different backgrounds. We'd still meet them no matter what, but this is kinda right down the block. Literally.

Aiya.

Words. *beats them on the table* Can't make them capture it all. But right now, this moment, I put it right *here*.

Look out, World. Here comes my girl. I've no idea what she'll do or become.

How wonderful!

EDIT: Gods bless Dr. Efron's office. Got her hooked up, got her Yellow Card, and when the Ant got her to school to turn in the card, they said she could go straight to her class.

Which she did without a backward glance, just in time for going in to class after lunch.

Please give mad props to the Ant who made it all happen with no help. I couldn't go with and neither could the husband. She did it all, with babe in arms, much hysterical crying because of shots, and LAUSD bureaucracy. She's not feeling it right now, but she managed, even if she doesn't feel like she did.

Current Mood: perking

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not entirely fabulous, but not horrible either

Things have been accomplished. Vitamins, exercise and correct application of sun have restored my mood. Interesting opportunities have wandered into my life, merely by the correct application of just plain asking for help and accepting that it's already on its way (and thanks again for that reminder,

argentla). I'm getting quotes for car insurance, because I'm pretty sure we were paying too much.

Best of all, my Venice Moms e-list came through with both a great rec for a new pediatrician *and* a ballet class that's minutes away from the house. One each dancing Mouse, coming up! And the studio also teaches Jazz! Woot! I fully expect to have the shrine to Fosse ensconced in the house in no time. *Fosse Fosse Fosse* *jazz hands*

I also reinstituted the making of the list at the end of the day, so I can see what I actually have accomplished, rather than let the broken brain insist that I've done nothing, when that isn't true.

So.

Baby steps.

Tonight I'm off to see Ink with some friends, a movie that a new friend of mine is in. It's been selling out and has sold out for tonight, which means that they're pretty much assured of a run in September. If this is the case, and you're local, roll out to see it. All my friends have been *raving* about it and I fully expect to have a grand time tonight.

Even if it is way past my bedtime when it goes on.