an_hyatt (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
angela_n_hunt) wrote2009-05-19 06:18 pm
angela_n_hunt) wrote2009-05-19 06:18 pm
Back To It
Cleared by the good doctor to go back to work tomorrow.
I am conflicted.
It will be nice to have five minutes that are not devoted to being life support for the Bean. It will also be hard to be away from my girls. I spent a few hours today just holding the Bean and soaking up the baby vibe. Smelling the top of her head. Holding her little body against my chest.
It's hard being a working mother. But it's also a life that I think is important.
My dream is that one day we'll live in a world where businesses understand that it's not a bad thing to bring your kids to work. That spending money on company day care is a way to keep good workers and make for a great workplace. That telecommuting and flex time are not evil, but ways to be competitive. That people who choose to have children and take time off to take care of them are just as serious about their careers as the driven singles.
This is why I wish I could completely sustain my part of the family budget through my art. As my own boss, I can give myself these things. Flex time. Work from home. Take my girls with me. Hell, the Mouse has become a great artist assistant. She already draws better than most of the kids her age and I know it's because she's surrounded by art and has the supplies at her fingers every day. It's not a once a week activity. It's daily. She takes pretty good pictures with her little camera. She is starting to figure out what light does. She tells stories non stop with her toys. She loves the music that's coming back into the house through the agency of our musical friends.
It gives her, and eventually, it'll give her sister, a core of imagination and creativity that I see missing from her peers, whether they become artists or musicians or writers or not.
I wish.
So I keep swinging.
Back to the dayjob tomorrow. But only for now.
I am conflicted.
It will be nice to have five minutes that are not devoted to being life support for the Bean. It will also be hard to be away from my girls. I spent a few hours today just holding the Bean and soaking up the baby vibe. Smelling the top of her head. Holding her little body against my chest.
It's hard being a working mother. But it's also a life that I think is important.
My dream is that one day we'll live in a world where businesses understand that it's not a bad thing to bring your kids to work. That spending money on company day care is a way to keep good workers and make for a great workplace. That telecommuting and flex time are not evil, but ways to be competitive. That people who choose to have children and take time off to take care of them are just as serious about their careers as the driven singles.
This is why I wish I could completely sustain my part of the family budget through my art. As my own boss, I can give myself these things. Flex time. Work from home. Take my girls with me. Hell, the Mouse has become a great artist assistant. She already draws better than most of the kids her age and I know it's because she's surrounded by art and has the supplies at her fingers every day. It's not a once a week activity. It's daily. She takes pretty good pictures with her little camera. She is starting to figure out what light does. She tells stories non stop with her toys. She loves the music that's coming back into the house through the agency of our musical friends.
It gives her, and eventually, it'll give her sister, a core of imagination and creativity that I see missing from her peers, whether they become artists or musicians or writers or not.
I wish.
So I keep swinging.
Back to the dayjob tomorrow. But only for now.