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It's been a really long weekend. As in, I'm going to work tomorrow so I can actually get some rest, it was that kind of long.

I'm exhausted. I'm going to bed in about five minutes.

But I can't turn my brain off and stuff is going on and and and... I need to turn my brain off. But I can't. So I've had some tequila. And it helps. And it doesn't. So I'll talk to you instead, because that does help, full stop.

I rambled and I deleted it, because even I could tell it was incoherent.

Just know that I'm thinking of you, wherever you are and whatever you're going through. I'm holding you in the light. Yes. You.

This life? Oh, it can be sharp. It can cut you to the bone. But it's the sharpness of a crystal, a brilliant thing of knife edges and brilliance and refraction. And even as it draws your blood, it robs you of your breath because of its beauty sometimes.


And on that note, to bed, my darlings. May visions of sugar plums dance in your head. If not that, whatever most delights you.

*kisses you on the forehead*


Good night.
angela_n_hunt: (Default)
Or wanted.

But it's really okay. Because I'm able to look at the thought and hold it and put it down, because I am blessed with amazing friends who love me and remind me that it's what's inside that matters.

My legs and feet hurt from running this morning. I'm still going to run tonight. Potatoes and I do not agree with each other and though I do not regret the last two nights of latkes, it is time for penance. I am committed to getting back to my fighting weight and looking like the woman I remember. I chant my usual mantra, Pain Is No Reason For Stopping and I've added Master Owen's, Pain Is Weakness Leaving the Body. Between those two and all the cadence I can remember, I run. The dog runs with me. I'll get there.

And it's Friday. And it's a gorgeous day outside.

I have Yule mischief to get up to, which has been making me smile at random intervals.

So all of this is a long way of saying, to you, yes, you: if you're having a day today too and you don't feel pretty or wanted? I see you. You're beautiful. And I want you in the world.

angela_n_hunt: (Default)

How do I combat a morning like the one I've had so far?

Art. Look at my glorious models.


* * *

Well. The last thirteen hours have been...challenging.

Personal challenges.

Up half the night with the Bean who is not entirely sick, but not entirely well and as far as I can tell was having nightmares or something and refused to be soothed. Unfortunately, by the time it was 5:30 AM or so, as much as I wanted to take care of her, I had to start getting ready for work, my plan being to get her when I was done taking the World's Shortest Shower and getting dressed.

And when I got out and was finished?

She was asleep again.

Nearly died on the way in to work. Guy nearly drove me off the road.

Walking in to work, my heel is hurting like hell. Finally get my shoe off at my desk and feel something poking out of my foot. 1/4" thorn.

Ooooh. Kay.

I got nothing.

So. Yeah.


How's your day?

I'm going to hide under my desk.
angela_n_hunt: (Default)

One day, this will be a book cover. I don't know what for, but the first time I saw what I had shot, it just screamed book cover at me. Story with a capital S.

Some day, it'll tell me what the Story actually is.

Outside, it is full on Fall weather, October weather, a full on Medicine for Melancholy kind of day.

I would be at my desk at home, if I could. I would be tearing my computer apart and ripping out its guts so that as soon as the external enclosure arrives, I could save my data. I've been without a reliable working computer for over two years now. I've been shooting photography way past what my current rig really can handle. It does its very best, but I'm at the limit of the gear. My car needs a tune up beyond belief.

And I turn 40 in twelve days.

My life alternates between lovely and ugly. If the dichotomy were any stronger, I'd split into two.

If I could, I would go outside and pray for rain and stand in it when it fell down. Ask it to wash me clean and to send help and healing to my loved ones who are in so much pain right now. Who are struggling. Whose lives are so damn hard.

But I have to stay inside and pretend to be normal. Pretend that the Autumn wind isn't calling me. Pretend that I am a happy drone of the Corporate Hive.

When all I want to do is start singing the Ballad of Sweeny Todd at the top of my lungs.

Swing your razor wide!
Sweeney, hold it to the skies.
Freely flows the blood of those who moralize.


Okay. Back to it.

I'll console myself by humming Pretty Women under my breath.
angela_n_hunt: (Default)
Show's in five days now.

So's Mouse's birthday party.




Here we go.
angela_n_hunt: (Default)


Kill me.

*looks around blearily*

SDCC prep continues.  I'm fucking behind.  As of Tuesday night, whatever doesn't get done, doesn't get done.  Fuck it.

Show prep is going well though.

Mouse's birthday prep is not.  I'm scrambling.  She turns 6 very soon.

I need a massage, an army of interns, and a machine gun.  A bottle of anything and a jelly donut.  To go!
angela_n_hunt: (Default)
If I wore one.

There's a lot going on right now, and not to be stupidly mysterious, but I can't share a lot of it. Doesn't leave me a lot to post, and at least informally, I've been trying to stay committed to keeping content here, since apparently LiveJournal Is Dying. Or so they tell me.

I don't see it, but whatever.

I kinda chalk it up there with the whole Publishing Is Dying meme that is absolute horse pockey.

I delete whole sentences and paragraphs because I can't talk about stuff. It makes me feel like I've swallowed an elephant. It triggers me too, because as a kid, having to keep my mouth shut was what kept me safe, but really didn't, and learning how to fucking speak my truth... Well, it took me a while to learn.

Except as any Witch can tell you, the Fourth Cornerstone of Magick is To Be Silent.

Talk about conflicted.

Magick is born in Silence. The greatest rites and spells must be contained to be successful. To speak them is to break them and dissipate their power. It's why a Secret is so powerful.

So just know that I'm reaching out to you all. Wordless.


Jun. 30th, 2010 08:57 am
angela_n_hunt: (Default)
At least it's Wednesday.

Evening was lovely last night though. Husband is trying to suck down the Firehose of Knowledge at his New Dayjob, and I was able to start migrating stuff to the Behemoth. Noto bene: saving emails for the last five or so years? Yeah. Save them elsewhere, not in your Outlook. Holy gods, three hours later... And I thought archiving music files took forever.

On the upside, my Gmail is now fully synced to the Outlook folders, so I can start actually managing email both at home and on the road. Wiktory!

I also can tell that I'm going to quickly become spoiled by the whole two monitor set up that the Behemoth drives. I feel like I've got the console of the Enterprise now. DUDE.

BH&H logistics continues to move forward, which makes me very happy and words got written on TMSBD yesterday. I should really put up a wordcount meter, but I actually don't know if it's going to be 90K or not or if I even care. It's currently over 50K, which is safely novella inching towards novel length, so at this point, it's all gravy.

And when I'm done, I dive back in to the Dark Lightning edit and the Sekrit Projekt.

Oh, and did I mention that Labyrinth of Jareth is in less than two weeks, my costume isn't finished and the week after that is San Diego Comic Con, three weeks after that is the Mouse's birthday and a week after that will probably be the opening reception for Between Heaven & Hell?

Yeah. I'm such a slacker. NOT.
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And here we are on the right day finally.

New meds in combination with other things finally killed the migraine.

I finished the painting last night and it's apparently broken open a lot of stuff. I'm processing a lot of anger and frustration, but that's really nothing new. Painting is an emotional process for me, whether I like it or not. The urge to go all Willem Defoe from To Live and Die in LA, drag everything I've created into the street and set it on fire comes over me from time to time.

I know not to act on this impulse.

But it doesn't change the desire.

But I'm not the judge.

I just have to keep doing the work. Putting one foot in front of the other. I'm in the midst of another plateau and I've done this enough times now to know what it feels like. I just have to do the work. Nothing else matters.

Just some days I'm more aware than others just how fucking hamstrung I am.
angela_n_hunt: (Default)
*blink blink*



Went to bed on time and everything.  But the body and the brain are informing me that I have overextended the system, oh fuck, overextended.


Resting as best I can with dayjob and kids and responsibilities.

Yeah, it's about as difficult as you imagine.

angela_n_hunt: (Default)
Drive in to the dayjob this morning looked like a cut scene from Bladerunner, if there'd been any actual morning shots. Gray, steam billowing out of the tops of the skyscrapers as I shot past them on Olive, drizzle coming down fine.

The tops of the buildings disappearing into cloud and mist.

I swear, all that was missing was a spinner darting by or one of the advertising dirigibles shouting something in Mandarin and Japanese.

It's the kind of day I'd rather be out in, shooting.

Oh well.

Break's over. Back on my head.
angela_n_hunt: (Default)
I am so full of things I can't talk about that I may explode.

But that would be messy.

Suffice to say that if I could mystically lose 60 pounds and be independently wealthy in the next 24 hours, life would be as near to perfect as it could be.

But the weight and the dayjob keep me real and honest. Things to work on. Not to say there isn't work going on. There's a lot. This is me. This is me emulating a duck. Serene on top. Paddling like ohmyfuckinggods on the bottom.


I love days like today.
angela_n_hunt: (Default)
Had a lovely lunch with Bill without an LJ. Sunshine and sushi were had. Which is good, because the morning was a study in irritation, but has since passed on.

This week has been long and the next four weeks look to be just as long. I'm thinking I need to schedule downtime right now, or I'm going to crash like the Hindenberg if I'm not careful.

In other news, I broke how Alice Assassin ends, I've got two ideas for short films now, and even less time than before.

The Mad Scientist's Beautiful Daughter is over 18,000 words.

Passover's on Monday, there's a party on Sunday and tomorrow is full.

*lays on ground and twitches*

I'm moving. Just give me a minute.
angela_n_hunt: (Default)

I'm on it. Just, um, a wee bit slow. Things are crazeeeeeeee.

I didn't even get dishes done last night.

I have to finish the Mouse's costume for Halloween this weekend, so she can have it to wear to school on next Friday and then, of course, for the evening itself. I don't think we have enough candy in the house either. Gotta buy a big bag to hand out.

I'm going on my artist date tonight and I'm going to go to Gelson's for groceries. Friday's being good to us and it's the husband and my anniversary this Sunday. We'll have been married for seven years this Sunday and been together for nine. I'm still rather stunned by it all. I'm more than likely to post something impossibly sappy and sentimental the day of, so you have been duly warned. Take your insulin medication accordingly.

Things continue to bomb along for the book and art party and today, the art I sent to Damned arrived in MN. Hopefully in one piece. Next weekend is the show. *jitters*

I have a lot to both be grateful and a lot to throw back into the cauldron this Samhain.

What a year.
angela_n_hunt: (Default)
Or some variant of a Bowie song.


Dreamstime didn't want the Florence photos either for stock, but at least all they said was that it wasn't quite what they were looking for, not that the images were bad. So... Improvement, I guess?

That being said, this officially means that I'm going to do a Florence/Firenze photo book as the holiday offering from the press, since damn it, I want people to have a chance to enjoy them. Big coffee table book yumminess. As soon as I've got it priced out, I'll put up pre-order buttons for it. A little Italian yummy for your holidays.

Headspace wasn't great this morning, due to lack of sleep, but aside from that, things are good and the correct application of my birthday Starbucks card means that I am perking right the hell up. I get a good healthy lunch in to me this afternoon and I think I'll be right as rain. Get in some yoga on my break and I'll hardly know what to do with myself. Tree, ho!

There's lots churning in my head.

I want to get Strange Weather finished before NaNoWriMo. That's one thing that must happen, no matter who I have to kill to make it happen.

Tonight, the Ant is off to see Cirque de Soleil, and I'm hoping to hell it will give her the inspiration to write/finish Fynr Tal. Please, oh please.

And this is totally random and on that note, I go off to stand on my head again.
angela_n_hunt: (Default)
Photo editing has come to a screeching halt as I scramble to pull things together for the next two shows. I have to have the work to MN by the 19th of this month, which is less than two weeks away.


I'm also contemplating what the Yule chapbook will be, since I don't actually have any short stories from this year. Baby/pregnancy ate any bandwidth I had for short stories. Chapbook may end up being a small portfolio instead of one of the series from this year, either Between Heaven & Hell or something else. The goddesses won't work, because I have a LOT more ideas there, including wanting to revisit the Justice series that I did years ago with the Mad Model when we were a lot younger and I didn't have a gallon of stage blood left to use.


Anyway, the photos are coming.

* * *

Got lots accomplished last night and a lovely visit with Mike without an LJ who's back from Jersey. Hearing how gobsmacked his mom was to see him made my night and possibly my week.

And completely randomly, I have lost a whole pant size. WOOT!

Okay, back on my head.


Oct. 5th, 2009 11:15 am
angela_n_hunt: (Default)
Dude, stumbled across this and am salivating. Need to knock over a bank.

The LA Opera is having their first ever costume sale this Saturday, October 10th. OMG! Want want want! Press release here:

We're talking awesomeness of total costuming awesomeness. I gotta hit someone rich with a brick and steal their AMEX.

* * *

New Fairyland chapter is up today too:

* * *

That should amuse you for a little while.

In household news, the Ant is moving *much* better. I may cry with relief. She should be up and driving this week. Yay!

I had a very fine weekend indeed, which was my first in *months*. I hardly know what to do with myself.

Prints are printing and other prep is happening for the two upcoming shows. If you missed my twitter shriek, I got into the Damned II show at the end of the month and can hardly contain myself. Between Heaven and Hell II is going to Minneapolis! Woot!

There's lots more churning through my head, but those are the highlights.

Life is looking up.

angela_n_hunt: (Default)

Moon Over Bourbon Street, originally uploaded by quennessa.

I allowed myself to have more fun in Photoshop with this one.

Ghost? Vampire? You decide.

* * *

Didn't get to bed on time last night, and slept poorly as a result. Had more labor/delivery dreams, which I didn't have with the Mouse. I wake up very disoriented from them.

The ads for Discover Hong Kong are not helping my wanderlust this morning. I put the TV on before work to get traffic before heading downtown. Keeps me from becoming too insanely frustrated if there are problems. It taunts me with visions of other countries.

Olivia, the youngest of our cats, is spazzing out, attacking the front room carpet. I don't know why. Do cats need reasons?

My. This became mightily random.

Brain Mush

Mar. 26th, 2009 08:35 am
angela_n_hunt: (Default)
This morning is just empty in the brain department.

*pokes brain meat*

*nothing happens*


I'm hoping that the application of loud music on iPod headphones and lunch will jumpstart something, but I'm not overly optimistic. Some of the lack of brain is the fact that everything I want/need to do home. Not at the dayjob. My epic to do list is for home things. Art things. Writing things. Tax things.

Dayjob is dayjob.

Oh well.

I think I need to pack a sketchbook again. A habit I fell out of, but I think I need to reintroduce it. If nothing else, it'll jumpstart the brain. I also need to steal my point and shoot back from the Ant. Need to shoot what's downtown.

In the meantime, I found the stack of negs I need to scan and get into the computer.

Oh god.

I'm going to be scanning for the rest of my natural life...
angela_n_hunt: (Default)

Black Widow, originally uploaded by quennessa.

Today's photograph for your perusal.

Would you believe this is the hallway of the new house? Yeah. Me either. Sometimes limitation on space and shooting force the creativity. Like making me come in tight and far more intimate than I have in the past.


* * *

Dragging a bit this morning. Got enough sleep, but was woken up once to comfort the Mouse who had a nightmare. Small one though and was easily put back to bed.

Lots of stuff percolating in my brain, but nothing wants to join itself to words.

Oh well.

Back to it then, eh?


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