angela_n_hunt: (blue eyes)

Bean

So my two daughters are total hams. To the point that one of my new nicknames for the Bean is “Hambone”. Whenever I have a photo shoot that they are present for though, this works in my favor, i.e. “Hey, please stand here while I balance my light.”

And I get shots like these for their participation and my trouble.

Total ham salad.

It’s the best thing ever.

Originally published at ANGELA N. HUNT. You can comment here or there.

angela_n_hunt: (Default)

Because tomorrow, it will be. The Amazing A dropped off the first of the Vaudeville props last night and it is *awesome*.

We have rope. With interesting knots!!!

I also sketched in two paintings yesterday, so I’m feeling more sane than I have in weeks. Working on paintings = instant sanity.

I get some photo editing in and I’ll be a whole new woman.

I have also got all the current perks worked out for the upcoming Alice Assassin campaign and I am pretty excited about it. Getting the show on the gallery walls will be made of total awesome, especially in conjunction with the book release. At this point, we’re 38 days out from launch of the campaign.

Knocked down the 18 miler on Sunday. Only one more this Sunday and then I begin the taper, the period of time where I allow my muscles to heal in prep for the marathon in (holy shit) 25 days.

And did I mention that the Bean is turning 3 this April?

Yeah.

First Quarter of 2012?

Burning it down.

Originally published at Angela N. Hunt. You can comment here or there.

angela_n_hunt: (Default)
38,970

NaNoWriMo.org appears to be down right now and considering how many of us there are, I'm surprised it hasn't gone down more this year.

It's not the novel I thought I was going to write. And I like it better than the idea I had. It's darker and unhappier, but there are things in it that I love so hard even as it's kicking my ass, so I am content.

The next phase is to start writing the nonsense verse for the book, which is going to be a real stretch and challenge as I don't consider myself that great a poet. I write it. I like the bits I've written. I'm not accomplished the way [profile] ysabet_wordsmith is or some others I could name.

And really, how much espionage fantasy poetry have you ever read?

Exactly.

But there it is.

* * *

In other news, the Mouse and Bean are off to the pediatrician. The Bean for her next check up and vax shots, the Mouse for the second round of hearing tests.

Yeah.

*breathes*

Here's to hoping it's just wax buildup and not actual hearing loss in that left ear.

* * *

And in the category of things that I am thankful for:

You.

All of you.

I made pumpkin pie and whipped cream for you. You are all amazing. Thank you for being in my virtual and not so virtual life.

*kisses you on the cheek*

You're a diamond of the first water.

Happy Thanksgiving.
angela_n_hunt: (Default)
Tonight's the night! First Fridays at Everyday Zen Relaxation Studio. Event starts at 5:30 PM and runs for some time. I'll be there as close to 5:30 pm as I can make, jetting from downtown. Pray that traffic doesn't try to eat me.

More details and directions can be found here:

http://www.firstfridayslongbeach.com/

I hope to see you there!

* * *

Ant Update will be probably tomorrow. Final bills arrived. OW. But we're very close to having this completely done and taken care of, which wouldn't have been possible without all of you.

I am eternally grateful. Adverb and all. You guys rock the Casbah.

* * *

Managed to work on taxes *and* Strange Weather last night. Didn't get any gallery subs done, but two out of three is total awesome and Win.

The Bean has decided that she is only happy if she can be in the Ergo and riding on my back while I cook dinner or there is much screaming and yelling. Luckily, this is no big and actually, kinda fun. She coos and plays with the straps as I cook and walk around, which makes me smile. Baby coos are instant endorphin creators. You have to be dead to not smile when you hear a happy baby.

The Mouse is getting better and better at her sote arabesques too. Come Saturday, I think Miss Laura will be pleased. I just love watching her jump around, pointing her toes.

Now, I just need to mainline a metric ton of caffeine so I can pretend to be smiling and charming tonight at the art walk.

Angel

Sep. 23rd, 2009 12:54 pm
angela_n_hunt: (Default)

Angel, originally uploaded by quennessa.

And here she is, doing her best impersonation of a Botticelli angel, A.

Aside from the silly grin I get at the comment about send ups of 80s science fiction B movies, I adore these photos. The whole thing. The vibe has been fantastic.

The submission I've put together for the Damned show makes me very happy and comes out of this work. It's probably some of the best work I've ever done. Some of that is due to my facility with Photoshop now.

I know a lot more about digital processing than I did when I started. I'm seriously considering re-working some older pieces with what I know now. A lot of work that I couldn't work with or couldn't save, I now know how to bend to my diabolical will.

Let's hear it for improving as an artist.

Also, giclee paper came last night, so I'll be able to start pulling prints this weekend for the 10/2 show and the Book & Art Party. Yay!

* * *
In the Real World, the Ant fell while carrying the Bean, twisting her ankle badly. Bean's fine, but there was much screaming and crying, and now the Ant has two bad feet, not just one.

*sigh*

Mike and Deni are at the house helping out, but I could just cry.

It's been a super stressful morning.

Bean's pediatrician appointment went swimmingly though. She's in great shape. Though she is deeply suspicious of them there now, because every time she gets there, something bites her in the ass.

Gods, I could use a drink. Or three.

angela_n_hunt: (Default)
Well! I finished the photo brochure. Finally. Last night. Took me long enough, but it's done. All that remains is to get it uploaded to the printers and on its merry way.

Yup.

*looks around*

I should probably mention that I am in uber weird headspace and have been for the last few days.

In other news, the dentist appointment was a total non thing and went a long way to helping me deal with my phobia. [personal profile] stacymckenna, please to be thanking your friend. Awesome referral and I am going to heartily recommend Dr. Chen to everyone I know if they need a dentist. Good, good guy.

Edit on Strange Weather continues and I should be done sooner than later.

The Bean has also begun to officially outgrow her newborn/0-3 mos. clothing. There's something both wonderful and bittersweet about it all. Bean's my last baby. I'll only have these two girls, my Mouse and my Bean. It's only once that they're small. It's only once that they find me smiling and making funny noises at them to be the height of comedy. There might come a day when they find me the farthest thing from funny at all. I hope not. I hope to have a better relationship with my girls than I had with my parents.

I'm struggling with the passing of time.

Oh, and Contact was on the TV, right before I went to bed. Fathers and daughters and the search for truth and life and faith and love and how do you know what you know.

Small moves, Ellie. Small moves.

I better get back to it.
angela_n_hunt: (Default)
Gods.  The day is brutal.

The Bean is *teething*.  I shit you not.  A back molar, no less, because for her, why go for the traditional front tooth?  Oh no.  Let's go for something else *entirely*.  Precocious.  Yes, we call that precocious.  Gah.

She's eight weeks old today.  Two months.  Dude.

And the rest of the day is just brutal and I'm running and I had to stop and just breathe.  For a moment.  Just a moment.

* * *

I can haz laptop?  Yes!  I can haz!  Many thanks to Master Turnbow for the gift of one each Samwise, a laptop now sitting on my desk at home.  He won't run PS with all the bells and whistles, but Elements will run *fine*, thankyouverymuch. 

*collapses from relief*

I probably won't get much time to start getting him up to speed tonight.  My stupid dance show is on tonight.  But tomorrow should be fine.  I hope.  Today does not bode well for my plans.

Great.  I just broke a damn nail too.  Bad omen #2 for the day.

As for the rest, things are a horror show and I'm trying not to vomit.  Focusing on the smell of Bean's head and Mouse's laugh. 

The rest?  This crap is just temporary.
angela_n_hunt: (Default)
It's been six weeks already since she came into the world.  The blink of an eye.

She's such a good baby.  Sleeps!  She's started to smile when she sees me when I come home which is guaranteed to turn me into a pile of goo.  She's still doing the massive comfort nurse thing when I come home, so I don't really do anything but sit in the chair with her for several hours when I come in the door, but that's more than fine. 

She can creep about six inches before face planting to the horror of the dog.  She's holding her head up like a champ and best of all, she'll stare at a Laker game on TV in fascination for long periods of time.  All that bright yellow!  I fully expect moderately mobile baby sooner than later, especially since she's working hardcore on the whole rolling over thing.  At which point, all small and not so small animals will be doomed in the house.

Life is very, very sweet today.
angela_n_hunt: (Default)
And at the dayjob I go.

It's...I can't post what it is.  It's not good, let's put it that way.  However, what is good is that I appear to have serious job security. 

I am facing a veritable Everest of backlog.

Gods.

Kill me.

In the meantime, pumping is going well and I only had a bad moment of the milk not wanting to let down, which freaked me out, until I remembered I had to relax.  At which point, all started up to do what it needed to do.  I dislike pumping, but I dislike the idea of the Bean eating formula more than I dislike pumping.

Everyone's been very happy to see me, which has been a wonderful feeling.  I am blessed to work with some great people.  I just wish they were great people at a gallery or a big house publisher.  Yes.  I would like that much better.

That being said, I brought Strange Weather to work.  Going to do some editing here and try not to lose my little kitten mind.

Now for more caffeine.  Yes.

Photo tonight when I get home.

Back To It

May. 19th, 2009 06:18 pm
angela_n_hunt: (Default)
Cleared by the good doctor to go back to work tomorrow.

I am conflicted.

It will be nice to have five minutes that are not devoted to being life support for the Bean.  It will also be hard to be away from my girls.  I spent a few hours today just holding the Bean and soaking up the baby vibe.  Smelling the top of her head.  Holding her little body against my chest.

It's hard being a working mother.  But it's also a life that I think is important.

My dream is that one day we'll live in a world where businesses understand that it's not a bad thing to bring your kids to work.  That spending money on company day care is a way to keep good workers and make for a great workplace.  That telecommuting and flex time are not evil, but ways to be competitive.  That people who choose to have children and take time off to take care of them are just as serious about their careers as the driven singles.

This is why I wish I could completely sustain my part of the family budget through my art.  As my own boss, I can give myself these things.  Flex time.  Work from home.  Take my girls with me.  Hell, the Mouse has become a great artist assistant.  She already draws better than most of the kids her age and I know it's because she's surrounded by art and has the supplies at her fingers every day.  It's not a once a week activity.  It's daily.  She takes pretty good pictures with her little camera.  She is starting to figure out what light does.  She tells stories non stop with her toys.  She loves the music that's coming back into the house through the agency of our musical friends.

It gives her, and eventually, it'll give her sister, a core of imagination and creativity that I see missing from her peers, whether they become artists or musicians or writers or not.

I wish.

So I keep swinging.

Back to the dayjob tomorrow.  But only for now.
angela_n_hunt: (Default)
Got no damn sleep last night.  Bean (now officially my Coffee Bean) pulled about two/three hours of being wide awake, starting around 1 am.

Ow.

So exhausted that I asked the Ant to cover for me this morning and took a nap once the Mouse was off to school.

Ow.

I'm going back to work in a little less than a week.

I'm in trouble.

And I'm starving.  It's like I can't put enough food in me to deal with all the nursing I'm doing. 

Ow.

This doesn't last forever though.  That's what I know now in clear relief.  It's actually for a very short period of time.  It's over far too fast.  Just in the meantime, I'm very tired, for a quality and definition of tired that's hard to describe.  You know it's bad when sleep feels like a physical weight that falls on your eyes.

So.

That's all I've gotten done.  Slept in one hour chunks.  Nursed.  Scrambled for food.  Slept.  Nursed.  Taken ibuprofen in amounts that are probably destroying my liver.  I remind myself that it's enough.  My art is patient and isn't going anywhere.  Novel's sitting patiently on the computer.  Hunt Press website is down, but other connectivity is still live, so I'm not losing my mind. 

The Bean's calling for me.  Time to nurse again.

Moo.

Two Weeks

Apr. 30th, 2009 12:35 pm
angela_n_hunt: (Default)
The Bean is two weeks old today.  That is all.

She is very sweet and very wonderful.  She likes to wake at 5 AM, which is less than fun, but in all other ways is a gem.

The Mouse is home sick today.  Upset tummy.

Some day I'll sleep again.

In the meantime, I managed to get Chapter VIII of Strange Weather edited.  Only a few more hundred pages to go.  At least the baby being asleep means I was able to get some editing done.  Now to poke at some photos later.

Dry Run

Apr. 3rd, 2009 11:50 am
angela_n_hunt: (Default)
Well, last night at around 1 AM, the body *thought* it might be interested in going into something a bit more, well, invested in labor.

Or not.

We did a dry run to the hospital, because by 2 AM, I was exhibiting what my OB told me to look for. When I called her, she told me to go in.

Of course, we get there, and everything decides to start quieting down. So we came home.

I am convinced that the Bean was bored, kicked the system into gear, because she wanted to go for a drive in LA with no cars.

*sigh*

This is probably a sign of her life to come. LOL

I'm tired and I'm a bit sore. I don't know what's going on. I'm basically on maternity leave now, but, this morning has been very quiet. I mean to sew and not think about the process. Thinking leads to worrying leads to madness. I have to trust and allow that the body is doing it's thing and frankly, I'm along for the ride. I'm too damn tired to go into work, and frankly I know in my bones if I try to step up to that level, everything will just go haywire, I'll end up trying to drive to the hospital or being taken in an ambulance and y'know?

I need to fucking chill.

It's a lot harder than it sounds. I'm giving myself up to an elemental force, like weather. You can guess all you want, but until it rains or suns, you don't know what you're going to get. You just wait for it. Allow it to rain or cook your head.

So here I am. I'm going to rest until the Mouse gets home and then see what the Ant and the Margie Mom want to do this afternoon.

And see if I can find my damn state paperwork. That's something I can do...
angela_n_hunt: (Default)
Today is perking along and continues to be entertaining.

Yesterday, I lost part of my mucus plug, with some blood. You can go look up what that means, if you need the gory details, but I prefer to not impede your last meal. I'll wait.

*hums*

Back?

Okay. If you bothered to do in depth reading, this is *not* a reliable indicator of impending labor, *but* it is a sign that, well, your time, it be limited. As in, labor could start any day, between now and the next two weeks.

I said it wasn't a reliable indicator.

And I've been having massive Braxton-Hicks contractions since the plug decided to let go. Noticeable to the point of, "excuse me, what are you doing?", but no pain per se. Imagine a giant hand grabbing your abdomen and *squeezing*. For two minutes. Without letting go. Even once. They get stronger if I walk anywhere. And my body is starting to do a purge cycle. I won't go into further detail than that.

Lather, rinse, repeat for a while.

We finished packing the hospital go bags last night. One for me, one for the Bean.

Who knows what any of this means. Could be nothing. Or you might want to start following my twitter for updates, because I mean to twitter from the hospital. :) I'm quennessa over there too.

In the meantime, I'm ignoring all of this to the best of my ability, but the humor factor is hysterical. My dayjob was shocked to see me today. We haven't even had the baby shower yet. We have no newborn clothes, except for some diapers. The Bean won't be completely naked. But the co-sleep bed isn't back and yeah, we're just not ready. At all.

Cause y'know, I'm supposed to have three more weeks before going on maternity leave.

Yeah.

I don't think I'm going to make it either. LOL

So, think good baby thoughts for me, and please, I could really use prayers that the Bean WAIT till *after* the baby shower this Saturday, so, y'know, she won't be naked.

After that? All bets are off.
angela_n_hunt: (Default)
Had a small scare yesterday, baby wise. I had spotting. Blood for those of you who don't know what that means, a very, very tiny amount. Why is this bad? In third trimester, any, and we do mean *ANY* blood is what they call "abnormal".

In human speak, it means freak the fuck out and call your doctor.

So I did.

Turns out, I have a small tear down there (I'll give details to those who aren't squeamish) on the exterior as it were. Diagnosis: it's fragile from all the blood and water of being pregnant and I was stupid. Overdid it or scratched myself or wiped too hard, whatever, I was stupid. Have been ordered to quit stressing myself out and knock it the fuck off, though in much nicer language than that. Dr. Schneider, my OB, is AWESOME. I am so damn grateful to be in her care this time around.

The husband gets mad props by the way for ditching work and going in with me.

So. I'm fine. Bean is awesome.

But it was not how I wanted to spend my day yesterday.

And then there was the fact that we got into a discussion of higher philosophy in the evening on child raising vs. religion, magick, philosophy and paradigm and, damn, I was exhausted by the end of it, but looking back on it, as tense as the conversation became at times... I am filled with utter gratitude that I have a family that includes *three* very disparate viewpoints and belief systems in regard to G-d(dess, s), perception of the world/reality vs. objective fact/gravity will always win, human interaction, etc. Short version being, how do you answer the simple question of, "Is magic real?" when the house holds a Witch, a Jew and a Christian, and be respectful and tolerant of all that entails.

Answer: you answer very damn carefully, and in my case, pull out textbooks, starting with Aleister Crowley (since that's where I started and so what if she's four) and answer as best you can, while including the caveat that this is merely *one* of *many* ways of viewing this question.

And I pray that she doesn't grow up to be a die hard fundamentalist of any stripe who thinks I'm going to hell for being a Witch. LOL

But, that being said, even if she does, I will always love her and be there for her. That's the job I took when I became the Momma. There's no dodging that one. Any more than there was any guarantee that she would love me. The fact that she does right now is a gift, and I mean to cherish it for what it is. A gift, and not a right.

Love is always a gift.

Intense as yesterday was, today I am filled with this huge heart. My family is brilliant and weird and *thinks*, gods, above all, they *think* about what they believe and they will debate it and defend it and not fall into straw man arguments or name calling. And at the end, we come to consensus and above all, tolerance for each other and our experiences of this world. My daughters will grow up enveloped in an environment where this will be a virtue and not some sign of weakness that you want to talk about things. Where tolerance is not only expected, but demanded. If I'm lucky, they'll grow up like me, having no clue why gender or skin color mean a damn thing. (I found that out later and still think people are crazy for making that demarcation). If I'm lucky, they'll only see humans. Messy, lovely, horrible at times, but utterly, utterly simple humans.

I am blessed. Thank you, Goddess. Just, thank you.
angela_n_hunt: (Default)
It feels like it should be Thursday already, but it isn't. Don't know why.

Had my glucose test today. Ick. Do not take the flat cola flavor for the 10 oz. of dextrose. *gag* I managed it, but ick. Bean's doing awesome as always and so am I. After my next appt., I go to every two weeks till I deliver. The time has *flown* by. I felt like I was pregnant for an age with the Mouse. With the Bean, it's been an eye blink. Talk about the difference previous experience brings to things.

My headspace is very shifted with all that's happening, not just the new administration, but all the way down to the personal level of having a place to go and live. I talked to the movers today and we're set for Moving Day on the 6th/7th. I hardly know what to do with myself. One more thing off my Moving To Do List.

The clouds are scudding the rim of the sky today, like cotton batting waiting for a quilt of rain. I'm up on the cloud batting, swinging my feet, happy to not come down yet.
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The Bean is officially and most emphatically a girl according to this morning's ultrasound.

Today is very wonderful. The Mouse is beside herself that she's going to have a baby sister. She took one of the ultrasound pictures to school this morning to show her friends.

So.

Two girls.

My poor husband is totally outnumbered and surrounded. He's talking about building a man cave.

This was exactly what was needed today, on a day that's normally sad for me.

Look, Dr. Sagan. Look, Poppa Bear. Life and light persist.

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